1. Super Bowls, Super Budgets
In about three minutes, youâ€™ll know as much about every single Super Bowl ticket as those four old guys on TV that have been to every game. Ever wonder why you donâ€™t like those guys? Itâ€™s probably (as youâ€™ll discover) because the average household income of attendees is $222,318.
2. Did Paul see this coming?
If you werenâ€™t sure just how crazy Europe is about soccer, and you thought Paul the soccer psychic octopus was just a World Cup fad, you now have confirmation that it was much more than that. The match-predicting mollusk has been honored permanently with a statue. Seriously.
3. Top 10 memorable sports speeches
Itâ€™s an absolute crime that Valvano and Gehrig donâ€™t rank higher on this list. Actually, itâ€™s a crime that Al Pacino, playing a fictional coach in a glorified soap opera of a movie, ranks higher than both Valvano and Gehrig.
4. A real Knokk-out
Say you have a problem. You like billiards. You like bowling. But you just hate picking between the two when you want to raise cain with the boys after a night of dancing the Charleston. Well sir, your dilemma is solved. Now youâ€™ll have more time to uncover the other great mysteries of the universe. After a game or two, of course.
5. Girlfriends as sports analysts?
The Onion Sportsdome has been sort of polarizing since its launch, but if youâ€™ve ever had a girlfriend that isnâ€™t into sports, this segment pretty much pegs the experience, only amped up as if she were hired as an analyst for a sports network.