
I’m a huge fan of watches, and I purchased this Seiko Men’s Kinetic TiCN Watch from my local JC Penney’s last month. I’ve got a couple of Invicta’s, which I would highly recommend, but this one stood apart from the line of similar steel gray watches. It looks pretty great in person. I bought it the day before a major job interview, and I still haven’t heard from the company two weeks later, so frankly they can go burn in hell.
It didn’t get me the job, but I at least thought it would help me get laid, so I wore it out to a bar last Friday night. Surprisingly, I came home alone. Of course, I wore the watch around my penis and ballsack, which I arranged to protrude from my open fly like a dog’s tongue from a car window. Hey, call me an innovator. Or just call me a “Perpetrator of lewd acts”, like the judge did.
Your move, Paul Reubens.

^ Yes, Art.com sells a portrait of Pee Wee Herman to hang on your wall. That’s not creepy at ALL.
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