thepostgame.com

Mar

Billy Crystal to play for New York Yankees; Dodgers stuck with Dana Carvey

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Categories: Girls and MLB

Actor, comedian, and long-time Yankees fan Billy Crystal received the call he’s been waiting “50 years for“:

With the approval of MLB commissioner Bud Selig, the Yankees announced that Crystal will sign the contract and work out with the team at Legends Field on Wednesday, before playing in Thursday’s Grapefruit League game against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

I know that baseball isn’t attracting as many fans as it used to, with the steroid scandal hurting the image of the national pastime and faster-paced sports like basketball and football grabbing the youth demographic. Not to mention the Lingerie Football League. Warning: do not click on that link if you value your bandwidth But couldn’t they at least sign somebody cool like The Rock or Hannah Montana? Crystal is like 90 years old, and hasn’t done anything good since “City Slickers”. (If you mention “My Giant” to me, I swear I will jump through your computer screen and stab you in the eyeball.)

Back to the Lingerie Football League, how the HELL was I not aware of this glorious organization until two days ago? It’s like suddenly discovering that you won the lottery, or that you can fly, or that Andy Rooney finally died.

andy rooney
^ Lost his mind about 35 years ago.

Anyway, for those of you not familiar with the LFL, it’s girls in lingerie playing football, thereby combining three of every guy’s five favorite things. If they could somehow incorporate meatball subs and fighting monkeys, that would hit the jackpot.

But I can’t really complain; the league is pretty damn entertaining as it is. They say a picture is worth thousand words, so in that case this photo collection is like a complete erotic novel. Except, you know, it’s for guys.

And, finally, just a hot girl holding a football.

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Mar

See the Duke Blue Devils mascot injuring his ankle

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Categories: NCAA Basketball

Even though this happened about a week-and-a-half ago, I hadn’t heard about it because I’ve been in Columbia buying guns and drugs. Anyway, here’s the Duke Blue Devils mascot hurting himself while executing an awesome maneuver before the Georgia Tech game.

Normally it’s not like me to derive joy from other people’s pain, like the creepy host guy from Cheaters does, but watching that blue mascot writhe around on the floor is pretty entertaining. (Fun fact: the “Cheaters” guy is named Joey Greco and if you click the Talent link on his website, it says “Page Not Found”. How ironic.)

Speaking of entertaining video, here’s Joey Greco getting stabbed.

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Mar

UNC beats Duke in Cameron to win ACC championship

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Categories: Girls and NCAA Basketball

The Tar Heels avenged their earlier home loss to Duke this year by winning 76-68 in Cameron Stadium last night to win the ACC championship outright and secure a likely #1 seed for the NCAA tournament.

I hate both of these teams because I’m from South Carolina, which is Milhouse to North Carolina’s Bart when it comes to things like basketball, jobs, education, and not living in trailers. After two hours of hearing Dick Vitale make verbal love to Tyler “Get your han’s off me, bro” Hansbrough, I needed some cheering up. So here’s Bridget Moynahan.

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Mar

Brett Favre retires from the NFL, will join Mary Kay

By thepostgame 0 Comments

Categories: Girls and NFL

brett favre

Brett Favre’s final press conference as a Green Bay Packer yesterday was an emotional ending to one of the best careers ever put together by a quarterback.

“I hope that every penny …” he said before stopping to gather himself. “I hope that every penny they spent on me, they know it was money well spent. It was never my accomplishment, it was our accomplishment. It just so happens the position I played got most of the attention. It’s been a great relationship. I hope this organization and the fans appreciate me as much as I appreciate them.”

Brett Favre’s 17-year career ended with an interception against the Giants in the 2007 NFC title game, yet he feels that he went out on the top of his game and that he has nothing left to prove.

Favre is one of those guys that everybody likes and respects, sort of like Roger Clemens was before we realized that he may have taken steroids and given HGH to his wife. Favre always worked hard, played hard, and kept his mouth shut. The NFL would be a better place if more players would live by his example. (cough, cough, Chad Johnson).

It was time for him to go, though. Hell, Favre was relatively old when he starred in “There’s Something About Mary”, and that was like ten years ago. I actually just recently watched that movie for the first time in a long while, because somehow I’d forgotten how much Ben Stiller sucked. After suffering through all two hours I was reminded that the movie was the peak of Cameron Diaz’s hotness.

Don’t believe me? Observe Cameron Diaz circa 1998:

Now Cameron Diaz circa 2006 (warning: disturbing content):

Actually, I guess Cameron looked decent in Charlie’s Angels (2000), but she’s such a terrible actress that it’s hard to be turned on. And her mouth looks like she could swallow a human baby whole. Instead of cutting it up, like a normal person.

babies

And have you ever seen “The Sweetest Thing”? Holy shit, that’s the dumbest movie I’ve ever seen, and I once watched “The Brave Little Toaster”. Go ahead, click on it, I’ll wait. You know you want to. Just to whet your appetite, Phil Hartman plays both the Air Conditioner and the Hanging Lamp. Really.

Speaking of Charlie’s Angels, let’s get that bad Diaz taste out of our mouth with a little Liu.