Carmelo Anthony has a new clothing line coming out. No, it's not with Armani or Gucci or Prada.
It's with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
According to a press release from Macy's, Anthony has teamed up with Nickelodeon to produce a line of kids' clothing that will awkwardly combine his own basketball legacy with the Turtles franchise.
Is it a weird combo? Yes. Do the promotional photos manage to make Melo look like an 8-year-old? Yes.
But somehow, this is happening.
— Cristen Casados (@bucket_list_mom) March 1, 2016
"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is adored the world over and Turtles' superfan Carmelo Anthony, with his incredible athleticism and illustrious career, is an inspiration to generations of fans," says a Macy's executive, in a press release.
Well, OK then.
Call me skeptical, but I never heard the world whisper a prayer for more Carmelo Anthony/Ninja Turtles hybrid apparel. And, despite the promotional photos, I still have no idea how this union is supposed to work.
Melo, in fairness, is a known TMNT fan. He made a cameo in the upcoming Turtles sequel. And I suppose the miserable state of Knicks basketball could take a toll on an overrated star whose body will break down before New York's title window opens up.
But even with those qualifiers, this is just dumb.
I'm sure it sells. Children want stupid things, and parents like to buy them. But why do we need Carmelo Anthony to make the Ninja Turtles cool? They were already cool -- they were already cooler than Melo was, actually. I'm not thrilled about the Turtles lowering their standards to commiserate with the NBA's shruggiest superstar.
For crying out loud, this news report introduces him as "the often-injured NBA star Carmelo Anthony." Injuries! That's his legacy!
America needs this Melo/TMNT clothing line as much as the Knicks need Carmelo Anthony. Which is to say, not at all.