The PostGame

John Rocker, the douchebag pictured above, claims that he and other Texas Rangers failed a steroids test in 2000, which Bud Selig knew about but took no prosecuting actions.

“Bud Selig knew in the year 2000 John Rocker was taking the juice,” the former pitcher said Monday of the baseball commissioner on Atlanta radio station 680. “Didn’t do anything about it.”

Rocker said that doctors from management and the players’ association, following a spring training talk with the Texas Rangers about steroids and other topics, pulled himself, A-Rod, Rafael Palmeiro and Ivan Rodriguez aside. Rocker was with the Rangers in 2002.

“Look guys, if you take one kind of steroid, you don’t triple stack them and take them 10 months out of the year like Lyle Alzado did,” Rocker said the doctors told them. “If you do it responsibly, it’s not going to hurt you.”

First of all, John Rocker is probably the last person you want to listen to about anything, ever. In 2000 he was suspended for 14 days for the following comments about New York City:

It’s the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark, looking like you’re riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing.

I’m a hardcore Atlanta Braves fan, but even I didn’t like him when he was a Brave. He was like the mean alcoholic uncle that you only hung out with because he’d buy liquor for you and your underage friends. But then you had to drink it with him and listen to him rave about why the Jews were taking over the world and how Chuck Norris was actually a secret agent for the government.

Of course, when you’re 17, it’s worth it because, hey, free liquor. But once he runs out of money and starts hitting on your girlfriend, he’s gotta go.

And that’s John Rocker.