The PostGame

Last night in Rupp Arena, Gardner-Webb shocked the hometown Kentucky fans by beating the Wildcats 84-68, earning the tiny North Carolina school a berth to the Sports College Hoops Classic semifinals in New York. This was no nail-biter; Gardner-Webb led by 11 at halftime and maintained at least a 7-point lead in the second half.

Gardner-Webb just joined Division I in 2000 and won only nine games last year. They’ve had three 20-loss seasons in this decade alone. The game was Billy Gillispie’s second as Kentucky’s coach after leading his Florida Gators to a national championship last year.

Attention college athletes: Please stop. I can’t handle any more. Last Friday in college hoops, Grand Valley State took down #8 Michigan State 85-82 in an exhibition game. Now this.

There has already been a laundry list of upsets in college football this year. It started with Appalachian State defeating then-#5 Michigan in Michigan Stadium, continued with Stanford beating #2 USC, and hasn’t shown any signs of abating since then. With the new basketball season, I was hoping for some semblance of normality to return to college sports, but this isn’t a good start.Especially since I’m a Kentucky basketball fan. I pray to an altar of Rick Pitino’s image every night. Sometimes he talks back.

Apparently I will have to quit watching sports and start tuning in to “Extreme Makeover: West Virginia Edition”, where Dr. Phil teaches illiterate southerners to read, with some marital counseling and home remodeling thrown in.

Just kidding. Watching Dr. Phil is like having a two-fist prostate exam. I’d rather drink absinthe and stick my nutsack in a toaster oven.

^ Disclaimer: However warm and inviting it may look, do not stick your nutsack in a toaster oven.