Reality can hit a sports fan like a ton of bricks. So when Ryan Blake promised the Twitter universe that he'd eat six crayons if the Ravens lost on Monday Night Football, he likely did so for one reason: He thought they would win.
No way could the Baltimore Ravens, a perennial playoff contender, suffer a sixth loss so early in the season, right? Except that's what happened. Blake didn't have to eat his words; he had to eat half a dozen crayons.
Nobody would have sentenced him to death for backing down on this promise, but the Ravens fan dutifully did his job, downing six crayons on video with the accompaniment of various condiments. The video is appalling, cringe-worthy, horrifying, and hilarious.
Blake makes quick work of the crayons, too, downing all six in less than six minutes. The only lowlight of the video is when he describes being a Ravens fan as "literally the worst."
Ten playoff appearances and two Super Bowl titles since 2000 isn't exactly the worst, but it certainly demonstrates how blind to a team's success certain fans can be.
The upside to this caper? As Ryan Mink of BaltimoreRavens.com put it: "FINALLY, we have an appropriate use for the purple poo emoji!"
For Blake's health, though, we hope there isn't a sequel. Don't keep doing this to yourself. You can just put the crayons down and walk away from all of this. You don't owe the Internet anything.
Sadly, there's nothing we can do to help this poor man. The only person who can save him is himself.