The PostGame

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has reinstated Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams after an 18-month suspension for substance abuse. Throughout his rocky professional career, Williams tested positive for marijuana multiple times and has played in only 12 NFL games since the start of the 2004 season.

Due to his history of drug abuse, it is unknown if the Miami Dolphins will allow him to return to the team. However, since they hold an 0-9 record at this point in the season, I’m pretty sure they would let Ozzy Osbourne play if he could give them 15 good carries a game.

It doesn’t take Columbo to figure out that Williams will blaze up the giggle weed again and get kicked out of the NFL as quick as a hiccup, but God bless them for trying. Maybe it’s because they’re aware that NFL offenses are struggling mightily right now, or maybe Ricky bribed Goodell with some primo shit; I don’t know.

I do know that it’s time for my daily ninja training regarding my future ambush on Bill O’Reilly, so I’ve got to go. He will never know what hit him. Because I’m a ninja.

^ Good choice, Ricky. As they say: the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.

The All American Football League just got a marquee name, as former Florida quarterback Chris Leak has announced that he will play for Team Florida of the AAFL.

The fledgling league, which will begin next spring so as not to compete with the NFL, will play in large college stadiums at partnered “host universities”. There are currently six teams (in Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Michigan, Tennessee, and Texas), and recruiting is focused on ex-college athletes who played football in the host team’s state. In a surprising twist, all players must also have completed a four-year college degree.

Chris Leak joins such names as Ty Streets and 2001 Heisman Trophy winner Eric Crouch in the AAFL. Compensation for the players will be at least $5,000 per game, with the league intending to attract athletes who are “a step slow or inch too short” for the NFL.

The emphasis of the venture, and the key to its success, is exploiting the loyalties of hardcore college fans who want to continue watching homegrown talent after the players have moved on from the university.

However, I think one of the best features of college football is the fresh names and constant turnover of players. Florida fans couldn’t wait for Leak to graduate so that Tim Tebow could begin his career; I’m not sure they’re clamoring for more post-college Chris Leak.

It’s like the little kid with the glasses from “Jerry Maguire”: yes, he was adorable in that movie with his spiky hair and lisp, but I sure as hell don’t want to see him in another film now. He’s probably a sullen acne-riddled teenager serving his third stint in rehab already, if he didn’t join Tom Cruise in his awesome religion.