The PostGame

Thursday night in Atlanta, Sean Glennon and the Hokies atoned for last week’s heartbreaking loss to Boston College by crushing Georgia Tech 27-3. Glennon completed 22 of 32 passes for 296 yards and two touchdowns, and Brandon Ore added 86 yards on the ground as the Hokies’ offense controlled the entire game with 37:25 total time-of-possession.

To make matters worse, Glennon and three of his teammates were forced to suit up in white Georgia Tech road jerseys after their own attire mysteriously disappeared before the game. The players blacked out the “Yellow Jackets” name across the front, as well as the Russell logo (replaced by a crude Nike swoosh), and the players’ names were written on the back in black marker in what was probably the most ghetto apparel situation possible by a major college team.

The AP report continues,

The Hokies had no idea what happened to the four jerseys. There was no evidence of a break-in to the visiting locker room. A review of video surveillance tape showed nothing suspicious.

If this was a prank by a Georgia Tech student, I have to say it was executed pretty well. They got past the video surveillance into a secured locker room, stole the jerseys, and left without a trace of evidence. We need more pranks like this in college football. Instead of just holding up clever signs behind ESPN’s Gameday booth and chanting “(Opposing quarterback) sucks” at the game, students should go out and commit felonious acts.

I’m issuing a challenge: anyone who pulls a prank big enough to get mentioned on a telecast will win a free time machine from me. If you also kidnap a live mascot, I will throw in a mini-fridge.

Don’t you wish you had a time machine so you could go back and not get a blowjob from that “woman” behind the 7-11 that time when I was in high school? It can be yours, for free.

So, drunken college students, go out there and slash those team bus tires, steal those helmets, violate those animal mascots, and poop on Lee Corso’s windshield.The key to a good windshield poop is the subsequent smearing pattern. Use a stick or something, not your hands. Freak. Make sure to get lots of photographic evidence, then put it all on your Facebook page.

^ If you get the opposing student section to spell out “We lick chode,” I will buy you a Kia.

The top seven spots in the BCS remained unchanged this week, in a rare moment of inertia during the turmoil that has been the 2007 college football season.

#1 Ohio State dispensed an emphatic 37-17 win on Penn State in Happy Valley, further cementing their hold on the top-ranked spot. The highest change was Kansas taking the #8 spot from Virginia Tech after Tech’s heartbreaking loss to Boston College on Thursday night.

Further down the AP Poll, however, the instability we’ve come to expect this year continued. Cinderella story USF lost for the second week in a row, Florida was defeated by Georgia in Jacksonville, Southern Cal went down to the one-loss Oregon Ducks, Kentucky lost for the third time in four weeks, Virginia suffered its first ACC loss at the hands of NC State, and South Carolina was taken out by Tennessee in overtime. Kentucky, California, Virginia, Penn State, and Rutgers dropped from the AP rankings, while Connecticut moved in for the first time in school history on the heels of their win over South Florida.