I'm so mean I make medicine sick.
- Muhammad Ali
It was a boring game. Next year they're talking about bringing in Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.
- David Letterman, on Seahawks-Broncos Super Bowl
I am not very smart, but I recognize that I am not very smart.
- Woody Hayes
Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own.
- Bruce Lee
What a player does best, he should practice least. Practice is for problems.
- Duke Snider
It's gotten so bad, even Tim Tebow was like, "If they call, I am not here.
- Jimmy Fallon, on the Giants' 0-6 start
Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.
He's going to teach them the key strategy that always worked for him: Pass the ball to Michael Jordan.
- Jimmy Fallon, on Dennis Rodman's interest in coaching the North Korean Olympic team
He could hit better with a broken arm than we could with two good arms.
- Jerry Coleman, on Ted Williams
Players are being told not to show off too much after a touchdown, a sack or a murder.
- Conan O'Brien, on NFL crackdown of excessive celebration