On Wednesday, ESPN and the University of Texas announced the formation of a new Longhorn Sports Network that will net the school some $300 million over the next 20 years. Or, as they see it in Austin, the University of Texas will continue to allow the rest of the country to have various networks; at least for the time being.
The network is a boon for UT, which not only will be awash in money but have its own network to spread the gospel of Longhorn football to fans, boosters and, of course, star recruits.
How exactly one university fills a 24-hour a day, seven day-a-week programming schedule, though, is a viable concern. You don’t want hours of shake-weight infomercials. Fortunately, the Yahoo! Sports investigative team was able to obtain secret documents detailing preliminary plans.
Midnight Replay of the 2006 Rose Bowl
2:00 The Most Interesting Man in the World: Mack Brown
2:30 This is Oklahoma Football: The John Blake Era!
3:00 Our Greatest American Heroes: Mario Edwards, defensive end, Denton Ryan High School
3:30 Mad Money: Have we mentioned how dang rich we are?
4:00 Who Stole Vince Young’s Heisman? Live Interview with Lloyd Lake
4:30 Remember the Alamo: Panel discussion on remembering the Alamo
5:00 Walker, Texas Ranger: Chuck Norris wears Mack Brown pajamas
5:30 Bevo: Our mascot will kick your mascot’s ass
6:00 Bored to Death: Lubbock
6:30 Our Greatest American Heroes: Cayleb Jones, wide receiver, Austin High School
7:00 Around the Longhorn: Panel of ESPN journalists discuss how Texas has the world’s greatest football program. The least enthusiastic gets fired
7:30 Did you know Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley were roommates? (Hosted by Brent Musburger)
8:00 Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Live from College Station
8:30 Football’s Greatest Minds: 5. Parcells 4. Belichick 3. Walsh 2. Lombardi 1. Mack Brown
9:00 Replay of the 2006 Rose Bowl
11:00 Fair and Balanced: ESPN Investigative Journalism
11:01 Our Greatest American Heroes: Trey Williams, running back, Spring Dekaney High School
11:30 Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Bob Stoops, Gary Patterson, T. Boone Pickens, Jack Mildren
Noon Jersey Shore: Galveston: Sammi screams at Ronnie behind the oil refinery
12:30 The Complete Anthology of the last 20 Red River Shootouts (1991-92, 1994, 1997-1999, 2005-06, 2008-09 games only)
1:00 This is Your Life Tom Osborne: 2006 Nebraska Governor’s Race
1:30 Don’t Mess With Texas: Panel discussion on why you don’t mess with Texas
1:45 Leaders and Legends: You need an entire conference to have a network? How quaint
2:00 The Rick Barnes Show
2:01 The Mack Brown Show
4:00 Replay of the 2006 Rose Bowl
6:00 Our Greatest American Heroes: Jonathan Gray, running back, Aledo High School
6:30 Unsolved Mysteries: Wait, we let Cam Newton get out of Texas?
6:45 The Longhorn Network’s Sexiest Man Alive: Mack Brown
7:00 Today in Texas Women’s Sports
7:01 Today in Texas Football Recruiting
8:00 Last Comic Standing: Aggie Jokes
8:30 Weather Center: Do you realize how dang cold it gets in Norman?
9:00 Our Greatest American Heroes: Thomas Johnson, wide receiver, Dallas Skyline High School
9:30 Mad Men: I’m a Man! I’m 40! And other possibly mentally unstable people from Oklahoma
10:00 Mad Money II: Have we mentioned how much dang money this network is making us?
10:30 Can you believe the NCAA is going to allow us to show high school football games? Panel discussion on how great it is the NCAA is going to allow us to show high school football games.
11:00 The UT Cheerleaders: Mississippi State ain’t got nothin’ on us
11:30 Replay of the 2006 Rose Bowl
Dan Wetzel is Yahoo! Sports national columnist.