Caroline Wozniacki
"Here is my new club @McilroyRory made for me. http://t.co/JsJximhT"
How I See It: I guess this is their form of flowers or a nice bottle of wine.

Brian Cardinal
"No caption needed!!!! http://t.co/BqPGvwHW"
How I See It: I'll give you one anyway: "Drinking away the lockout."

Justin Tuck
"Time for a workout and treatment"
How I See It: Another big week ahead for the Giants' defensive line. Next quarterback on the list to injure: Kevin Kolb.

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Chris Canty
""When the pain of where you are becomes greater than the fear of where your going you'll move.""
How I See It: Unfortunately for Michael Vick, he didn't move.

Jay Cutler
"SEC officials cheating Vandy. Real shocker. Unacceptable."
How I See It: Does it really matter? Do you actually think Vandy can compete in the SEC?

Matt Carle
"Obviously pumped about the "official" announcement of the #2012NHLWinterClassic, it was a fun day at Citizens Bank Park http://t.co/W0A4I6kl"
How I See It: Chase Utley and Jimmy Rollins in net?

Luke Donald
"Congrats to Bill for taking it all, one of the really good guys on Tour"
How I See It: Because somehow your 13 top-ten finishes weren't enough ...

Joe Maddon
"It was fun to listen to the joy in the clubhouse after tonight's game. I enjoy just sitting in my office taking it in. We're really into it."
How I See It: The Red Sox are very amusing.

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Carmelo Anthony
"Filming Law & Order #SVU. Amazing!!!!!!!! http://t.co/wpv1c2QT"
How I See It: Yeah, you look so excited.

Miles Austin
"Way to keep fighting fellas! Heading back to the D."
How I See It: That's one way to show appreciation of your quarterback. This is another way.

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JJ Reddick
"Just watched Drive with Ryan Gosling. Please DON'T go see it. #fail. #wasteofagoodsundaynight."
How I See It: Don't be a coward and tag @ryangosling next time. And by the way, Gerry McNamara would have lit you up if Syracuse played in the ACC back in the day.

LeBron James
"My Biggest Fear is losing it all!"
How I See It: Don't be afraid. If you burn the few hundred million dollars you have, it'll be your own fault.

Michael Strahan
"The Giants are bitten again by the injury bug as are a lot of teams. A lot of great players out for the season and it has barely started!"
How I See It: Do the Giants a favor and get Amani Toomer on the phone.

Carl Crawford
"Alright, I'm out. Thx for the support"
How I See It: Especially to the Yankees, who just keep beating the crap out of the Rays. Thanks!

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Jose Canseco
"Leila please remove all and any pics you have of me on both ur Facebook pages thank you"
How I See It: Sounds like some frat boy after a regretful night.

Andy Murray
"RT @Wise_Quotes4U: Perseverance is failing nineteen times and succeeding the twentieth ~ Julie Andrews"
How I See It: And not throwing a temper-tantrum every time you hit a bad shot.

Novak Djokovic
"RT @isarhode: @djokernole at CBS Early Show. http://t.co/RJjljW3"
How I See It: #anotherdayattheoffice

Rafael Nadal
"Hice todo lo que pude pero esta noche no pudo ser. QuerĂ­a agradeceros vuestro apoyo y ahora a seguir trabajando... http://t.co/GIzRMxq"
How I See It: Translation: How the hell did Novak get so good?

Serena Williams
"Congrats to Sam Stoser. She played amazing! As for me next time :) #serenapower"
How I See It: Oh, and by the way, it was mostly the umpire's fault. As usual.

Caroline Wozniacki
"Switching a bit between golf and football.."
How I See It: Make Rory happy and stick with the golf.

Rory McIlroy
"Proud of @CaroWozniacki. Fought to the very end and handled everything like the champion she is."
How I See It: Who wears the pants in this relationship?

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Mardy Fish
"Congrats to my best friend in the world @jakeowen on his first #1 song! Barefoot Blue Jean Night!"
How I See It: But I'm not going to congratulate Jo-Wilfred Tsonga. I hate that dumb***.

Caroline Wozniacki
"So proud of @McIlroyRory who is back to number 4 in the world after a good last week:)"
How I See It: Cute. Now focus on validating your No. 1 ranking.

Alexander Ovechkin
"Great to be part of #Nike. Its going to be amazing ahahaha!!!"
How I See It: Is that an evil laugh mocking the 99.9 percent of the world's population who do not have multi-million dollar Nike endorsement contracts? Cold, Alex.

Mark Teixeira
"And for the record, GT was 3-0 vs UGA while I was in college ('98-'00)."
How I See It: One win for each of your children in private school in Greenwich. #entourage

Andy Roddick
"Louis armstrong it's been too long..... I'll see you tomorrow!!!!"
How I See It: In other words, Andy Roddick is really old and past his prime.

Evander Kane
"Will Arrive in #swaggerville tomorrow night! Time for the hockey season to begin."
How I See It: Is that what the cool kids are calling Winnipeg now?

Tim Tebow
"Psalm 37:4-5"
How I See It: Thou shall not start another quarterback over me...or two.

Tim Tebow
"Jeremiah 26:14"
How I See It: God still wears Tim Tebow's underpants.

Luke Donald
"@coachfitz51 nice win today Coach, 1-0"
How I See It: Northwestern is the new Stanford. #sorrytiger

Roger Mason, Jr.
"Got a big meeting tomorrow with the NBA. I'm hoping we can make some serious progress."
How I See It: Yeah, it's kinda-sorta big. It's not like there's a lockout going on or anything.

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