Chad Ochocinco
"God is so Good"
How I See It: Wow, Cincinnati must have been worse than I thought. What did Ocho do anyway to deserve deliverance into the promised land of the best run franchise in the NFL?

Isaiah Thomas
"I'm not worried about no opponent that's faster, taller, stronger than me bcuz no matter what I'ma keep comin u gotta kill me to stop me!"
How I See It: You've got to be careful what you wish for in the NBA. Gilbert Arenas might get the wrong idea from this tweet.

Shawne Merriman
"Dammit I have to hear #ochocinco mouth twice this year jesus I thought you loved me"
How I See It: Looks like not even God can please every NFL player. Although Merriman has it better than every average sports fan who is subjected to Ochocinco about six times a day on ESPN.

Braylon Edwards
"It's a shame some people base all there knowledge off media outlets, usually " including NFL teams. Lol. Develop info for yourself please"
How I See It: A word of advice Braylon: Try to avoid insulting potential employers.

Pete Carroll
"I've seen better hands on a clock... And did they arrest the guy who stole your calves? @RobRiggle"
How I See It: Who knew Coach Carroll could spit this good of a trash talking game?

Rodney Peete
"NFL Lockout Over!"
How I See It: Yes, this tweet was from Thursday. No, I didn't know that the former QB lived under a rock. This tweet alone provides unbeatable evidence that former NFLers need better mental health coverage.

Jon Beason
"Turn on the tube! Jon beason highest paid MLB in the league. News breaks now"
How I See It: I'm always amazed by how much a little third person use amplifies the arrogance of a tweet.

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Bart Scott
"The t-shirts are in"
How I See It: Done waiting!

John Calipari
"One thing I learned from reading about Theodore Roosevelt was that you shouldn't look for life of ease. You wanna be in the fight!"
How I See It: Is that why you live on the edge when you recruit?

Shelden Williams
"Welp bout to put the princess/terror to bed after we read bedtime stories!"
How I See It: By princess/terror, do you mean your wife, Candace Parker, the better athlete?

Alex Morgan
"Love me some nyc"
How I See It: I'd estimate around 1,000 guys in NYC are saying "Love me some Alex Morgan." More marriage proposals on the way.

A.J. Hawk
"I heard the media got it wrong. NBA lockout lifted. NFL still on."
How I See It: False.

Gerald McCoy
"Rubiks cube. Can anybody do it!?!"
How I See It: Yes. There are many people in the world who can finish a Rubik's Cube.

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David Price
" meat for me RT @runningrevolver: @DAVIDprice14 are you vegetarian?"
How I See It: I always knew Price was a fan of good cheese. In addition to meat, the Rays pitcher also tries to stay away from jams.

Dwyane Wade
"@KingJames put that dessert down"
How I See It: Dwyane, don't yell at LeBron. He might choke again.

Nick Barnett
"Look what I got!!!"
How I See It: Why didn't the NFLPA think of this bargaining chip earlier? The players don't need the NFL, they can just play football video games instead.

Donte' Stallworth
"#Listen anyone in their RIGHT MIND would not sign (this deal or) anything before reading it thoroughly. Unless your CONGRESS"
How I See It: Impressive, Donte' just backed up the actions of his fellow players while making fun of our nation's politicians -- all in 140 characters.

Arian Foster
"Im at chik-fil-a, no pressure here, just a damn good sandwich RT @Magnum7One3 sounds like owners trying to put the pressure you guys"
How I See It: Foster is clearly just enjoying the little things during the lockout and letting everything else work itself out. If only everyone else argued less and enjoyed more good sandwiches, the world would definitely be a better place.

J.J. Redick
"I can play outfield. RT @sportsguy33: My dad just told me he doesn't want a Beltran/Sox trade because he wants "J.J. Redick" to play more."
How I See It: I'm glad to see that Redick is trying to market himself during the NBA lockout. I'm also happy to see that the former Duke standout still exists.

Tony Gonzalez
"8 Days until the @crossfitgames can't wait!"
How I See It: Lockout pending, I assume.

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Stylez G. White
"whats good baby!? i havent really heard from yall in a while.. talk to me.. come on! besides i heard the lockout my ending soon.."
How I See It: Would you not want to hear from me if the lockout was still going on? Baby? Very Stylezish.

Dhani Jones
"Hanging out with @hopesolo @alexmorgan13 it's the premier of #entourage"
How I See It: Is sitting with an average NFL player the parting gift for coming in second place?

Jose Bautista
"Listo para jugar! Bateando designado! #beastmode"
How I See It: I guess "beastmode" is the same in every language.

Alex Morgan
"Entourage premiere :)"
How I See It: It's funny how Dhani Jones mentioned that he was with Alex Morgan, but Alex Morgan failed to mention she was with Dhani Jones.

Graeme McDowell
"Not saying tonight is going to be a good night but........"
How I See It: So does that mean you're going to drug Darren Clarke and Padraig Harrington?

Yao Ming
"My press conference will air on @NBATV tonight at 2am ET/ 11pm PT. Tune in!"
How I See It: The most exciting form of NBA TV during the lockout.

Steve Nash
"My debut for the French National team with my agent @RonnyTuriaf14"
How I See It: Yeah, I'd defintely trust him with my career.

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Dan Henderson
"Here's a topless pic of me w/ @Rachelle_Leah from the @MMAthletics shoot"
How I See It: Kids, let this serve as a reminder of the power and responsibility that come with the use of grammar. Mr. Henderson came very close to describing a picture that certainly would have had his Twitter account suspended.

Nick Barnett
"Rainforest cafe baby it's going down!!"
How I See It: Sorry, Nick, but the only things that can ever go down at a Rainforest Cafe are one's self-esteem and/or youth.

Prince Amukamara
"Love it when people dress up for the Harry Potter Premieres! #teamhufflepuff"
How I See It: The hardest part of the whole ordeal is deciding who to dress up as, although that must be easy for Amukamara. #thehalfbloodPrince

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James Harrison
"This statement will be my only response to the Men's Journal article."
How I See It: While it's nice to see Harrison explain himself, I was really hoping that his tirade would continue and eventually inspire "Horrible Bosses 2: NFL Edition," starring the linebacker and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

Brian Westbrook
"Wii training has me sweating!! Where is my trainer at"
How I See It: Yea, I'm pretty sure this means Westbrook's football career is officially over.

Ryan Leaf
"When I hear somebody sigh, "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?""
How I See It: Well, certainly not compared to your life, Ryan -- but that's a given.

Jose Bautista
"Just a sprain guys! Hope to wake up tomorrow and feel better!"
How I See It: That loud wooshing sound you are hearing is all of Toronto finally exhaling. In a minute, expect to hear some rumbling created by the groans of every Blue Jays fan who once again remembers that the team will never make the playoffs playing in the AL East.

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David Ortiz
"Show me the money National League!"
How I See It: They'd love to, but it's all in Boston and New York.

Robinson Cano
"What do you think of my dad pitching? We're not done yet, lets goooo!!!!"
How I See It: You've seen his pitches too much. It's an unfair advantage. Home run derby steroids.

Matt Kemp
"I don't feel as bad now, Frank Thomas jus told me he hit 3 his first"
How I See It: Don't make excuses.

Brandon Phillips
"WOW...At least he hit more than one...If not, then we would have had a problem...LOL...still #BEASTMODE"
How I See It: Is he making excuses too?

Hunter Pence
"I haven't been able to hear since Cano got done hitting #likeaman #HRDerby"
How I See It: Like a man? Really?

Michael Cuddyer
"After round 1 I've got Cano taking it home! #HRDerby"
How I See It: Yeah, okay. Front runner.

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Brian Westbrook
"I need you all to go to the facebook page for my horse farm and click "like" for me...thanks in advance!"
How I See It: Brian Westbrook is now attempting to live vicariously because Andy Reid never gave him the chance to be the horse of the Eagles backfield .

Chad Ochocinco
"My name is Chad you freaking moron!! Have some respect you dip stick RT @RUDYDAGREAT1: @ochocinco Yoooooo"
How I See It: Clearly, the drawn out lockout is beginning to take its toll on the minds of our nation's athletes. They are getting grumpy and restless, and fast.

Jeremy Maclin
"Man Philly airport is the worst....not one time have I ever been on a flight outta Philly that's been on time....."
How I See It: Firstly, see riff above. Secondly, J-Mac just insulted his own city, and, from what I hear, its residents aren't very forgiving, even to members of the hometown team. You better watch out, Mr. Maclin.

Nazr Mohammed
"#Patience for other people is a quality I do not have. #GottaWorkOnThat"
How I See It: This seems like a subtle threat to those at the NBA negotiating table. Better get that deal done soon Derek Fisher & Co., Nazr Mohammed is not going to wait long.

Rod Benson
"'If LeBron wanted a ring that bad, he should have stayed in Ohio and bought one from Terrell Pryor.'"
How I See It: As much as I hate kicking states while they are down, I couldn't let this quip go unpropagated.

Donte' Stallworth
""It is easier to stay out than get out." ~Mark Twain"
How I See It: I'm guessing that this is an example of the wisdom Stallworth picked up while serving time in jail.

Roger Mason Jr.
"Yo, this lockout is for the birds! Im back in NY for a few days and I want to workout. Problem is I left my Protege shoes in my locker!"
How I See It: We now see the true effects of the NBA Lockout. Hey Nazr, looks like you might have some help when your patience runs out.

Brandon Phillips
"Just got to the clubhouse and I had a bill on my seat from @Bernie_Brewer talkin bout I still owe him from damaging his slide last year! Smh"
How I See It: #Classic. I'm glad to see there is still some room for humor in the tightly contested NL Central.

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Alexander Ovechkin
"Hi guys!I'm back in I'm in toronto canada..."
How I See It: Cause that makes a lot of sense ...

Ozzie Guillen
"670 score very smart people talking baseball lol "
How I See It: Is talking baseball the newest section on the SATs? Top score of 800?

Jimmer Fredette
"Goodnight everyone"
How I See It: Jimmer's lights out.

Roger Mason, Jr.
"Watching Old School Bulls and feel like Danillo Gallinari reminds me of a young Toni Kukoc"
How I See It: #europeanbasketballcomparisons

Amar'e Stoudemire
"Getting ready to go on air with @jimrome"
How I See It: Kill yourself right now.

DeMar DeRozan
"Cold world, real cold world..."
How I See It: That's just Canada. Maybe one day you'll play for a team south of the border.

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Dwyane Wade
"I'm available for all bar and bat mitzvah and weddings..but my specialty is balloon animals.."
How I See It: Clearly, Mr. Wade will have no problem staying employed no matter how long the lockout lasts. His skills are simply in high demand.

Nazr Mohammed
"Can't believe that I can't even talk to ex-teammates and friends that work for other #NBA teams #NBALockout"
How I See It: Something tells me these bored ballers are going to be pounding Twitter with their whining.

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Jonathan Vilma
"is the world supposed to end in 2012 still?"
How I See It: Tentatively yes, but the Four Horsemen are still locked up in stalemated labor negotiations that could lead to a lockout.

Matt LaPorta
How I See It: Matt, it is not nice to laugh at the basketballers and footballers currently locked out. After all, the MLB CBA expires on Dec. 11 of this year. #uhoh

Michael Oher
"Just took a walk sat at the public bus stop! Brought back old memories! Lol use to have fun on the buses!"
How I See It: If you really want to bring back a lot of old memories, I have a great movie suggestion for you, although your bus antics must not have been noteworthy enough to make the production cut.

Chad Ochocinco
"Dude you've no chance beating me. Be realistic RT @RickyCarmichael: @ochocinco see u tomorrow.. Can't wait to #dominate you and settle this"
How I See It: Riding a bull is one thing, but taking on a man whose nickname is "The GOAT (greatest of all time)" at his own sport is just insane.

Charlie Villanueva
"Maaaaan I just got locked out my house too. Not a good night!!! What else could go wrong?"
How I See It: Sorry, Charlie, but that is just too funny.

Keith Eloi
"RT @jfaustin22: This dude say thank god we got the WNBA. Hahaha <~~ aye them girls can ball brah!"
How I See It: It doesn't matter how good or bad they actually are if this lockout lasts long enough (heaven forbid). Once us basketball fans get desperate enough, Diana Taurasi will start to look a lot like Kobe Bryant, trust me.

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