Apolo Ohno
"Enough wasting time. I'm back on the grind!"
How I See It: Only three more years before we see you again for two weeks!

Alexander Ovechkin
"My boy Gus shaved his head for Playoffs!!! Best! http://yfrog.com/gyd8zcoj"
How I See It: Did he knock that tooth out for the playoffs too?

Amar'e Stoudemire
"Up early. I couldn't sleep. Drinking a hot green tea. Thanks to all the Fans, Reporters an Teammates for the support this year. Cheers"
How I See It: Notice how Amar'e doesn't thank the team chiropractor. Dang back spasms.

Mike Vick
"http://youtu.be/UFQFT7-TcqU #madden12 rt"
How I See It: Last time you were on the cover of Madden, you ended up getting caught for running a dogfighting ring. Willing to risk the curse again?

Brandon Jennings
"This Year, Memorial Weekend #VEGAS......"
How I See It: No, Brandon. The Hangover 2 takes place in Thailand, not Vegas.

Jermaine O'Neal
""@1StephenJackson: @jermaineoneal whats good homey" stack jack what's up with you my brother!"
How I See It: I remember when you guys were teammates

Tim Tebow
"It's time to celebrate the greatest victory of all... He is risen! Have a wonderful Easter everyone! 1 Peter 1:3"
How I See It: At first I thought you were supporting your favorite NBA or NHL team. I was wrong.

Stuart Holden
"Was only a matter of time before Giggsy got one! Top top player!"
How I See It: If Ryan Giggs sees you called him Giggsy, he'll punch you in the face.

Greivis Vazquez
"I love the intensity of the playoff!!"
How I See It: And leading the top seed three games to one.

Rickie Fowler
"Hey guys follow @PGATourWives...they do a lot of great things for kids in need!!"
How I See It: Does Elin Nordegren not have access to the PGA Tour Wives twitter account anymore?

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Brittany Lincicome
"I HATE when u get on a new road and it says you have 300 miles to go before your next turn. LOL"
How I See It: Somebody doesn't know when traveling via airplane would be more efficient.

Riley Cooper
"Just go out of church, now off to an easter egg hunt with my 18 yr old sister. Alot of NFL guys doing this today right?"
How I See It: Yeah, an Easter egg hunt is just a spring NFL speed and agility drill in disguise.

Mike Vick
"Thinking about doing a uStream what do yall think?"
How I See It: It's fine as long as it's not a gateway to a VH1 reality television show #Ochocinco.

Mike Wallace
"Bout to sweep these 76ers!! #MiamiHeatFlow"
How I See It: #NotSoFast

Amar'e Stoudemire
"Getting my back ready for today's game. We have to leave our hearts on the court. NYK let's go !!"
How I See It: The Knicks may have been swept, but the team gave fans something they haven't seen in seven years: A playoff berth.

JaVale McGee
"I bowl overhand"
How I See It: *I bowl like a 6-year-old.

Fabian Washington
"Anthony Carter got the JUICE"
How I See It: Too bad he couldn’t get the WIN.

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Mike Leake
"Happy monday. hope everybody got their taxes in. who's going to be at the ballpark tonight?"
How I See It: Do you have to pay taxes on shoplifted goods?

Mike Tyson
How I See It: Same goes for human beings (i.e. Evander Holyfield)

Mo Williams
"Despite being the most hated team in the playoffs. Miami is the favorite to win the east."
How I See It: I have a hunch you're not rooting for them. Is that true?

Brian Kelly
"BlueGold game tomorrow at 2 PM EST. Lots of alumni around campus today. Feels like the fall is just around the corner.140 days till USF"
How I See It: Try to avoid using the words "the fall" this week in South Bend.

Kevin Durant
"How many tats between the 2 of you? RT @CHEmack_I_am: Boutb http://plixi.com/p/93715219 #inkandbunz"
How I See It: A bunch.

Chad Ochocinco
"(Mom is pregnant)Son:What's in there?Mom: A baby,your sister!Son: Do u luv her?Mom:Yes,very much! Son:THEN WHY DID U EAT HER? #Happytuesday"
How I See It: Nothing like your early morning humor with Chad Ochocinco.

Usain Bolt
How I See It: How much did Gatorade and/or Nike pay you to tweet that?

Hines Ward
"I want to thank Mrs. Rooney and the girls as well as Mrs. Tomlin for coming out and showing their support for me.... http://fb.me/LsQiAwBk"
How I See It: ... on "Dancing With The Stars."

Blake Griffin
"@ChrisKaman I want an ipad"
How I See It: Got to love how Blake Griffin doesn't need to show any respect towards vets.

LeBron James
"Coming together off the court before we hit the court focused and determined!! http://plixi.com/p/92797549"
How I See It: Did you and Dwyane make Bosh pay?

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Rory McIlroy
"Flying to Malaysia with charl! Glad one of us has a green jacket on!!! http://twitpic.com/4jqjuf"
How I See It: Speaking of awkward moments ...

Rajon Rondo
"Its going to be a very interesting series against NYK"
How I See It: But first, a very awkward regular-season finale.

Phil Hughes
"Gonna need many bolts updates wed night!"
How I See It: No. What you need is a moderately fast four-seamer.

Herculez Gomez
"Will be on my FB page answering Q's for the next 30.. join in on the fun, post a Q and I will A! http://www.facebook.com/HerculezGomez9"
How I See It: Is the president your cousin?

Michael Oher
"Wow never in a million years im shocked at this! http://t.co/HTvuyVc"
How I See It: Isn't that the same pick-up truck you wrecked with S.J. in the car?

Jozy Altidore
"Red devils or Blues?"
How I See It: Ninety percent of Americans think you're confused about what Duke's mascot is.

Tiger Woods
"It was a great Masters, fun to get it going like that on the front. Congrats to Charl, heck of a way to win. Birdied last four holes."
How I See It: If Tiger had a Twitter last April, he may have tweeted something like this: @Phil Mickelson, congrats man! Whata shot from the pines. #USAALLTHE WAY. Or not.

David Ortiz
"Also, help me wish a happy birthday to my boy and our captain Jason Varitek, he's been a great teammate and a great friend all these years"
How I See It: We all know he's the captain. He's the only baseball player obnoxious enough to put a big fat C on his chest.

Tony Hawk
"If you stumbled upon Rebecca Black & considered making fun of her song/video, consider this: (via @johnedale) http://say.ly/cgvfp4"
How I See It: There's no way The Beatles fought over where to sit in the car. I'm 99 percent certain Paul and John sat in the front with George and Ringo in the back. But I see your point.

Earvin Magic Johnson
"OKC, Durant, and Westbrook are for real and could prove problematic for the Lakers in the playoffs if they aren't playing their best ball."
How I See It: No way, man. Not one person in the entire country is thinking the same thing.

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David Ortiz
"Great win today....the fans were amazing, you guys are the best!!!"
How I See It: David Ortiz, a member of the happiest 1-6 team in the history of sports.

Aaron Rodgers
"One thing i really miss living in Wisconsin is in n out....also wearing shorts"
How I See It: Does this mean the Super Bowl Hangover is already over? Rodgers must be pretty needy; you'd think that bringing the Lombardi Trophy back to Titletown would keep him happy for at least a couple months.

Chad Ochocinco
"@ochocinco We live in society of capitalism based on greed. Some people are never satisfied and they just happen to run our country.Not cool"
How I See It: After the lockout and disappointing MLS stint, I guess Ocho is now looking for employment in politics.

Mike Wallace
"Got to the end of the tunnel, and I was the light"
How I See It: Really? As I remember it, you almost got to the end of the tunnel, but then the Packers beat you. At least you haven't lost any self confidence since February.

DeSean Jackson
"Great work out! Even gave some game to some up an coming receivers. I feel a great day ahead of me #Jaccpot"
How I See It: As arrogant as Mike Wallace was, Jackson blows him out of the water by creating his own hashtag and using it ad nauseum. Sorry, Mike, but you can't even win about being self-righteous.

Mike Vick
"I'm going to work out. I'm trying to get better!!!!!"
How I See It: When he can't run a football team or an illegal dogfighting ring, I guess Vick has a lot of free time on his hands.

DeJuan Blair
"Every successful person has a painful story. Every painful story has a successful ending."
How I See It: Want proof? Look at the 2010-11 San Antonio Spurs. They've sustained enough injuries within the last fortnight for multiple title runs.

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LeBron James
"It aint easy but it's alright, The LeBrons coming tomorrow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekm3jio--AE"
How I See It: Cleveland's really gonna like this one.

Alexander Ovechkin
"With all my boys! http://yfrog.com/h45l6uboj"
How I See It: That wasn't what I expected when I clicked ...

Hasheem Thabeet
"UConn Huskies!!!!!"
How I See It: Would you even start on this team?

Gordon Hayward
"Good run my guys...proud of y'all @AAnglin11 @BUmack1 @BUnored5 @cstigall33 @EKampen30 @Gbutch32 @G_Leiendecker22"
How I See It: "What else is he going to do, get Butler all the way back to the final and hit the shot?" -Gordon Hayward Sr. to Sports Illustrated one year ago. Unfortunately, we will never know the answer.

Danilo Gallinari
"Vediamo che fare dopo allenamento...giacomino e I'll gallets sono carichi..good night last night.."
How I See It: Translation: Wow, the Knicks don't play any defense ...That's six in a row for us after beating the Lakers and we're fifth in the west ...I love Denver.

Amar'e Stoudemire
"Peace to NY, its a positive movement. The Best City in the World. That's right I said it. Now What!!" Isreal""
How I See It: Is Amar'e calling out Jerusalem? He's not going to win this argument if it comes down to religious history.

John Wall
"Chillin http://plixi.com/p/89009549"
How I See It: He looks like he's on his way to the '94 Stanley Cup Finals.

Tiger Woods
"Been using my new app to prepare. I’m loving it – what do you guys think? http://t.co/Qw8VEEe"
How I See It: Discussing an iPhone app on a social networking site? The Eye of the Tiger really is lost.

Darrelle Revis
"thinkin i was gettin away from bad weather in PA, its the same thing in orlando. Rain, Rain!!!"
How I See It: Why would you leave the Island in the first place?

Stuart Holden
"Photographer got a bit testy w me today and closed the door bc I was makin the lads laugh... #cheerup m8, turn that frown upside down!"
How I See It: Europeans think we're so immature.

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Mike Fratello
"I've got my hot water w/ lemon. Ian and I are ready to roll! MIA@NJN up next on YES"
How I See It: And the reason you didn’t do tea with lemon was because …

LaMarr Woodley
"Any1 else HATE talking on the phone?"
How I See It: Yup, that’s probably why the cell phone industry has been such a dud.

Sanya Richards
"Sitting and chatting with my favorite ladies in the world!!!!! LOVING IT. Family is the best ?"
How I See It: Who are you kidding? You’re not chatting … you’re too busy tweeting!

James Harden
"Love. Live. Life. Proceed. Progress"
How I See It: That’s a lot of things to do … when do we get a chance to sleep?

Nate Robinson
"Touch down denver what up? What's there to do out here ? Any good places to eat?"
How I See It: Give Melo a call. Oh wait … never mind.

Reggie Hodges
"Y do kids always want to run around naked after a bath!?! Smh"
How I See It: Couldn’t tell you, but I’m sure Twitter is the place to go for answers.

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