Alexander Ovechkin
"Country BBQ time hahahaha with my best friends!misha and olga..."
How I See It: With teeth like that, I have no idea how Alex eats.

Dwight Howard
"Tough game. Dang melo. U had to catch fire."
How I See It: And play moderate defense for the first time as a Knick.

Gordon Hayward
"I did!!! RT @DickieV: I can not believe VCU will play Butler in Final 4 .Be HONEST how many of u Bulldog fans thought this would happen."
How I See It: Say what you want, Gordon. We all know you thought the team was done when you declared for the draft last year.

Eric Maynor
How I See It: The success of a college basketball team proves that their city is great? Who knew?

Brian Kelly
"Another shout out to Coach Jackson and his guys for making the Frozen Four. Exciting time to be an Irish fan. ONWARD TO VICTORY......"
How I See It: I'm sure Ben Hansbrough would agree ...

Chad Ochocinco
"In order to grow a #Garden you gotta care for it (let it marinate if you don't get it) I'll waite"
How I See It: Is that your philosophy for becoming a better soccer player?

John Calipari
"Stopped in w/my dad & visited w/the Knights of the Horseshoe of Wisdom at Wheeler's this morning."
How I See It: I guess you aren't referring to Brandon Knight's family.

Landon Donovan
"Resting up, doing a crossword puzzle, listening to @TheFray . Excited for tomorrow night...always a great crowd in NashVegas"
How I See It: Who knew Landon Donovan was such an indie college student?

Seth Greenberg
"This kentucky team reminds me of Cal's Umass teams. Roles defined physical and tough on the defensive end!"
How I See It: You know what Kentucky doesn't remind me of? Teams like Virginia Tech who didn't even make the tournament.

LeBron James
"No place like home!!"
How I See It: Dare I ask where you consider that?

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Jennie Finch
"#March Madness is Madness!"
How I See It: #hashtagfail

Wesley Woodyard
"If your newborn is 3wks old they dont need a Facebook Profile and dont friend request me! im not tryin to talk bout Gerber's new formula"
How I See It: They are on a sister site called Fetusbook … get with the times.

Eric Berry
"They say I'm kuntry....I tell em thank you."
How I See It: Can they not spell properly in the south or something?

Kyle Turris
"march madness is crazy this year. Hoping VCU wins it all!"
How I See It: The Final Four is set and there is not a single one or two seed remaining. #wow.

Kevin Harvick
"Well that was fun! Nothing beats winning!"
How I See It: Tell that one to Charlie Sheen.

Adam Rippon
"There is just something about having a cold that transforms me into a 21 year old man-baby."
How I See It: Check out this site.

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Tiger Woods
"First win of the year, unfortunately it was against @jimmyfallon"
How I See It: Congrats. Would you consider this win No. 2? Charlie Sheen sure would.

Stuart Holden
"Just had a sincere phone call from Jonny Evans wishing me the best in my recovery, def wasn't intentional, just unfortunate part of the game"
How I See It: Evans only ruined the best season an American has ever had in the Premier League. No big deal. Don't be a pushover, Stu. Toughen up!

Danilo Gallinari
"Having lunch..son adre a mangia'..."
How I See It: Translation: It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know I play better defense than Carmelo Anthony.

Joe Maddon
"Props to the Brignac family's gumbo. They are cooking cajun for the ballclub's pregame meal today."
How I See It: Somebody tell Reid Brignac that Jason Barlett's gone and he can stop brown-nosing the coach. He's got the shortstop job.

Gordon Hayward
"BUTLER TO THE SWEET SIXTEEN!!! #scary #findingwaystowin #legoooo"
How I See It: It sure does make us all wonder ... was that 2-11 performance in the championship game necessary or should you have passed the ball?

Evan Turner
"52 in the first half is nuts"
How I See It: Speaking of a college superstar whose team is doing fine without him ...

Tim Tebow
"Yesterday was Thursday, I'm so glad it's Friday, Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, Saturday, gonna have some fun, fun, fun LOL"
How I See It: Rebecca Black, you know you suck if God granted even Tim Tebow permission to make fun of you.

Pablo Sandoval
"Tattoo time"
How I See It: Glad to see you're working hard at Spring Training to stay on an MLB Roster.

Jalen Rose
"along w/prayer of the day I will also note to "UNFOLLOW a Hater" so if you follow anyone w/an evil/negative or jealous vibe UNFOLLOW THEM!"
How I See It: I have a hunch I know who you unfollowed. Are his his initials GH?

John Calipari
"Sorry those two earlier tweets on Joker's presser were not meant to be sent on Coach Calipari's account. It's a MEDIA ONLY event (D. Peevy)"
How I See It: It could have been worse, Coach. A few of your texts to sixth graders could have found their way to twitter.

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Kevin Harvick
"Just passed Hungry Mother state park..wonder who thought of that one?"
How I See It: Probably a Jewish mother at the end of Yom Kippur.

Mallory Blackwelder
"Boredddddddddd driving :("
How I See It: First, it was drinking and driving. Then, it was texting in driving. Now, it is Tweeting and driving.

Kris Humphries
"Guess who just got to NJ."
How I See It: Clean air? Bulldozers? Garbage truck?

Oscar De La Hoya
"Why don't we help when we know we can"
How I See It: Greed is good.

Chad Ochocinco
"If I've 1.8 million followers what's the percentage of followers that actually hate me #literally"
How I See It: However many watch VH1.

Chris Harris
"Just saw a mother a Smoothie King get 2yr old son a 32oz smoothie.......geez what happened to the kiddie cup lady"
How I See It: And they wonder why America has an obesity problem ...

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Matt Ware
"I can tell nobody got anything done at work today with all these tweets..#ncaatourney"
How I See It: Look who's talking, Ware, but isn't that the point of March Madness?

LaMarr Woodley
"Jimmer fredette has a crazy name but the guy is legit.. hes carrying BYU #marchmadness"
How I See It: Like LaMarr Woodley is any better of a name?

Aaron Rodgers
"2 last second shots both went against me......I love march madness"
How I See It: That's a little masochistic, don't ya think? Usually you want the games to go your way. I'm surprised I need to remind a Super Bowl champion of that.

Angie Akers
"Amazing March Madness St Patty's Day! Enjoy the exciting games and Guiness! Love being Irish!"
How I See It: Good games & Guinness. Enjoying the best of both worlds.

Ryan Mundy
"#superbowl lol RT @DavidMerritt15: there anything better than the NCAA Tournament?"
How I See It: Well, there aren't any lockouts that threaten the NCAA Tournament, so March Madness might have to take the cake.

Chris Canty
"Day 1 of the tourney and my bracket is already ruined. Louisville let me down. I guess I better stick to my day job"
How I See It: Does your day job still exist? Think of the fans!

Jeremy Maclin
"Huge shot!"
How I See It: Maclin should be careful. If I didn't know the tourney was going on, I'd think Maclin would be celebrating St. Patty's day a bit too enthusiastically.

Brad Gilbert
"Green is the new black, just for today."
How I See It: I guess we should update the saying to "Once you go green, you never go ... lean?"

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Chris Webber
"Timeout for "THOUGHTFUL THURSDAY 3.10.11" on"

How I See It: Is thoughtful Chris Webber an oxymoron?

Jalen Rose
"Coming up next on Outside the Lines @SportsCenter...talking whether college athletes should be paid plus more#Espn"

How I See It: Oh, you mean like Chris Webber.

Greg Anthony
"If you're looking for help with ur bracket go to"

How I See It: But don't go to this guy:

Kenny Smith
"Who else does?RT @phemzziey: @TheJetOnTNT I want your job"

How I See It: Not gonna lie, you looked like you were having a lot of fun in that clip.

Amar'e Stoudemire
"About to take a Hott shower. Then get some rest for tomorrow nights game VS the Pacers."

How I See It: While you're at it, please tell Melo to play some defense.

Stephen Curry
"Thanks. Love the support! RT @Mayo4695: @StephenCurry30 happy birthday from FL!!! huge fan read my blog, number 1 fan gets first comment!"

How I See It: In other words, "get away from me, creep."

Chris Johnson
"Boy they need to let me kno what's gonna happen with this NFL lockout cause if they do ima join the us track team."

How I See It: @Roger Goodell

Carlos Beltran
"A todos los fanaticos saludos, me imagino que están locos de que empiece el Baseball!"

How I See It: Somebody seems a little too excited for the Mets' season.

David Price
"Going to make decision on Opening Day starter on Tuesdayy"

How I See It: This tweet can't help David Price's confidence.

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Alexi Lalas
"I still maintain that flip-flops are inappropriate for air travel."

How I See It: If you had it your way, people would travel in soccer boots.

Scott Speed
"I just beat @Amanda_Speed at our Name that Tune game surfing the radio for the first time EVER!! yeah!!! #poorloser"

How I See It: I’m sure Amanda Speed is happy you posted you victory on Twitter #cockywinner.

Arian Foster
"Shout out to everyone who ate syrup sandwiches an popped the fried baloney bubble growing up."

How I See It: How you became an elite running back with a diet like that baffles me.

Chad Ochocinco
"One of these days I'm going to start living!!!!!"

How I See It: Yeah, because your life has been so dull up until now.

John Petro
"This is for all My friends that I lost touch with!! All my besties that I don't even talk to anymore!! I need my FRIENDS back! (328c318 bbm)"

How I See It: Did you really just say besties?

Eric Maynor
"Just landed........ D.C wus good????"

How I See It: Do you expect @WashingtonDC to Tweet you back?

Dwyane Wade
"2010-2011 what a year..I've been blessed to have the love and support that I receive. I wanna thank everyone for there kind words..#Z&Zdad"

How I See It: If you aren’t going to tag @KingJames or @chrisbosh ... then I guess I will.

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Darrelle Revis
"Road trip is almost over"

How I See It: Can't wait! Shoot, forgot that's was trademarked. Don't tell Bart!

Alexander Ovechkin
"We going home!can't wait....dc the best!"

How I See It: If Bart sees this page, we're doomed.

Jozy Altidore

How I See It: No goals in last summer's World Cup ... smh

Carmelo Anthony
"A note to my Denver fans..."

How I See It: ... and in conclusion, playing in front of New York fans is much more fun.

Dwyane Wade
"Alright Alright Alright @KevinHart4real is THE funniest person on earth right now..great show homie.."

How I See It: Tears of laughter? Good cover-up.

LeBron James
"No matter how many times i fail, I'll always be ready for the next opportunity"

How I See It: Exactly. So pucker up and suck it up.

Curtis Granderson
"on my way back from ESPN The Weekend. Had fun with Joba & Mo on @ESPN_BBTN . Video to come! #QuestFor28"
How I See It: Please tell me Joba didn't sit in the front on Space Mountain.

Tim Tebow
"Nothing like quoting John Denver when you're heading back to Denver... Had a great time this weekend but it's time to get back to work GB²"
How I See It: It took 23 years, but Tim Tebow finally quoted someone other than God.

Jeremy Shockey
How I See It: Note to Jeremy Shockey: You just signed with the Panthers. Even Charlie Sheen's laughing right now.

Lindsay Davenport
"Yep! We are here and one of the few Ducks fans. RT @reallisa: When did Anaheim turn into Vancouver? Van fans bringing the noise."

How I See It: Since nobody cares about hockey in Southern California and everyone's crazy about it in Canada.

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Magic Johnson
"Miami Heat, who's the leader? I'm looking for that leader in the 4th quarter, where is he?"

How I See It: He’s nowhere ... any possible leader is too busy crying.

Chansi Stuckey
"Encouraging prayer"

How I See It: Pope Stuckey has spoken.

Nolan Smith
"My bro Kemba Walker is not on twitter..#thatisall"

How I See It: He’s got better things to do ... like being on the court practicing his jumper.

Rod Benson
"I'm starting to like Justin Bieber."

How I See It: I’m starting to believe that you are losing followers by the second.

Shannon Rowbury
"Anyone interested in buying a 1957 T-Bird or a DeLorean? Yeah, I actually do have one of each for sale."

How I See It: When did Twitter become eBay or Craigslist?

Arian Foster
"Kobe has tiger blood #winning"

How I See It: I thought it was snake venom #blackmamba.

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Kurt Warner
"Grocery store I shop at still sells my t-shirt so I am getting chased from aisle 2 aisle 4 autograph! Ppl I retired, send them back!"

How I See It: Gotta love the life of the stay-at-home Dad. Kurt “Mr. Mom” Warner at your service.

Dwyane Wade
"Its sad what someone would do to b like you..@KevinHart4real is stalking me..he wants my life."

How I See It: Come on, D-Wade, you should be honored, not frightened.

Ryan Franklin
"Just another crappy day in south FL!!!"

How I See It: Just another hack of a baseball player trying to make people jealous on Twitter, .

Stephon Marbury
"RT @RushiaB: You don't see distractions when ur FOCUSED on the GOAL! *B that's how I got to china. Clowns said I (cont)"

How I See It: That focus sent you right into obscurity in China and made you an Internet embarrassment.

Leonard Weaver
"I just want to update the everyone on my rehab.....its going great , however everything is moving slow! But rehab is on track."

How I See It: I think NFL fans are more concerned with the future of the league than the future of your knee.

Deion Sanders
"Prime just filled up his gmc denali 90.00 #HOP i see what y'all meen Primetimers."

How I See It: That’s just chump change right, Deion?

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