Sean Smith
"Lol not really sure what kind of diet but I gotta stay away from the $1 menu!!!"

How I See It: How about the “no fast food” diet?

Arian Foster
"I prefer loofas over rags"

How I See It: Good to know, thanks.

Vince Young
"Wonder if yall down for this bowling today."

How I See It: Since the NFL career isn’t looking to good right now for you, the PBA may be your second calling.

Magic Johnson
"Will 2 stars from the Knicsk beat 3 stars from Miami?????"

How I See It: Three stars -- don’t be dissing Chauncey!

Greg Anthony
"#Oscar's will do well in nyc tonight...But not as well as the #Knicks!!!"

How I See It: Hopefully Melo will win best picture, not LeBron.

Zab Judah
"We At the greatest show on earth!!!"

How I See It: I love the circus!

Jessica Gysin
"Hmm wonder why @RyanSeacrest is standing on a platform for red carpet Oscar interviews #tooshort"

How I See It: It’s either a platform or high heel tuxedo shoes. Let the man be short in peace.

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Chad Ochocinco
"For those who don't know the labor talks with the owners n NFLPA= we are nowhere near close to a deal,this will roll into September."

How I See It: If Chad Ochocinco is this pessimistic, you know things are bad. Let’s hope baseball keeps my mind off this fiasco for at least a couple of months.

Josh Cribbs
"Hey make sure you guys come out to Saturday's @monstershockey game to meet me, @joehaden23 and @BossWard43 at pregame autograph session!”

How I See It: If you want to get one last whiff of an NFL player before who knows when, here is your chance. And, on top of that, the Lake Erie Monsters will be donning “Browns-inspired uniforms.” At least somebody is taking advantage of the NFL’s loss.

Coco Crisp
"Anyone know of a good church in AZ"

How I See It: Good thinking, Coco. Your A’s will need all the help they can get!

Coco Crisp

"I need to find a hair braider in AZ my braids are starting to get fuzzy... not a good look!"

How I See It: The two essentials for Coco: God and a hair braider.

Ndamukong Suh
"What up twitter fam, it's friday, what do y'all have going on this weekend? #TeamSuh"

How I See It: Oh I don’t know, just watching the light at the end of the CBA tunnel get smaller and smaller as it fades into the distance. Should be fun!

Stevie Johnson
"GoodLuck To The Athletes Thats Participating In the NFLCombine This Week! Jus Be Urself! Whatever Happens;Happens! Still FBall To Be Played!"

How I See It: One more word of advice from Stevie: Don’t drop a pass. You’ll never forget it. Ever. Oh, and don’t blame God.

Lane Kiffin
"Never despise a small beginning. I remember my days as a quality control coach...consistent, diligent, hardwork pays off! #dontquit"

How I See It: Hardwork and improper phone calls, isn’t that right, coach?

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Natalie Coughlin
"Braising short ribs for my big dinner on Saturday. Takes so much restraint not eating all this delicious food myself!"

How I See It: If you need help, Natalie, let me know. Don't be surprised if all the ribs go MIA though.

Paul Bissonnette
"I've been on the road for 6 days and it feels like a month. My standards in women are crashing like the dow jones in 2008. #MeSoHooowny"

How I See It: Way to keep things PG, Bissonnette ... oh, wait. Sigh, the life of a pro athlete.

Golden Tate
"Just spilled pepsi on myself at the airport. #slouch #lookedlikeipeedmypants"

How I See It: That's the most original excuse for bedwetting I've heard in a while.

Barry Enright
"Question of the day...What did/do you want to be growing up? Anything...actor, actress, athlete... Anything..? Be creative"

How I See It: Are you looking for a new day job already? Spring training barely started. It's too soon to give up all hope on the season.

Kenny Wallace
"Holy Crap!..Just looked up and seen I almost have 40 thousand followers?...What's going on with me?...Why do you follow me?"

How I See It: I'm guessing being a pro athlete might have something to do with it.

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Carmelo Anthony
"Headed to Burbank to film THE CONAN SHOW."

How I See It: Nice. Must have been a pretty boring day then.

Danilo Gallinari
"Siamo a tutto motore...sto giocando a forza quattro con mamma..."

How I See It: Translation: S***, Mom. After all I've done over the past three years, they're making me go to Denver. Will and I have to play with Al Harrington again!

J.R. Smith
"On the plane back to Denver! Never say goodbye always see you later! #seeyoulaterville http://plixi.com/p/78962115"

How I See It: J.R. Smith's dream day has finally arrived: He's the Nuggets first option on offense. That is, until Raymond Felton, Danilo Gallinari, and Wilson Chandler suit up on Thursday night.

Ty Lawson
"George Lopez str8 went on amare stoudemire lmao!!"

How I See It: Amare Stoudemire has Carmelo Anthony now. What are you laughing your butt off about?

Allan Houston
"The closer u get to a person, the more you get to know their imperfections...the closer you get to Jesus the more u see His perfection"

How I See It: So does the Knicks' front office think Carmelo is Jesus?

Anthony Morrow

"Jus had a great workout, finna go see my granny"

How I See It: You hear that Nets fans? Anthony Morrow is going to give it everything he's got to make up for not getting Melo. As long as Sasha Vujacic and Travis Outlaw are working hard too, this team's got a chance.

Landry Fields
"Ray, Gallo, Wil, Timo, Ant and Eddy, thnx for everything you've done for me so far this Rookie year! I appreciate it! Wishing you the best."

How I See It: That's sweet, Landry. At least somebody is thanking these guys for bringing the Knicks back to relevance and then being used as trade bait.

Ronny Turiaf
""@JozyAltidore17: Melo to the knicks @RonnyTuriaf14?" - Yesssir, As of Late Last night - When u coming to a Game?"

How I See It: All of a sudden Ronny Turiaf's the cool kid on the block now that he's teammates with Melo.

Hakim Warrick
"I wonder whos gonna do the new york version of black and yellow 1st... Stat and melo , stat and melo, stat and melo... i want a % if they do"

How I See It: .
Marquis Green is your winner. And oh by the way, the Knicks don't plan on signing you and Gerry McNamara, so don't get your hopes up.

Brandon Jennings
"The Knicks are Back, Miami Is Back, Bulls are Back, remind me of the 90's. Great For The NBA. If you ask me"

How I See It: What about Ray Allen and Glenn Robinson's Bucks? Not back yet? Good luck being the Knicks' first Carmelo victim on Wednesday night. And to think you could have been on this team too ...

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Chris Duhon
"Watching Remember the Titians help u realize what true friendship is and who is really on your side!"

How I See It: I don’t need a film to tell me that Denzel Washington is always there to pick me up when I fall.

Pierre Garcon
"Riding back seat in my own car…"

How I See It: Woah! They installed the steering wheel in the second row of seating? That’s sick!

Caroline Wozniacki
"Had 4 cars picking us up at the airport in Doha, think it should be enough;) hehe.. On my way to the hotel now!"

How I See It: Only the president travels in a caravan.

Beanie Wells
"Got the good word today! Great message ! But loonngg service 3hr lol"

How I See It: Nobody ever said dedication was easy?

Mo Williams
"I wonder how many Kia's they gone sell after the dunk contest."

How I See It: ... Or Clippers tickets.

Roddy White
"Did he do a dunk nobody has done before"

How I See It: Have you ever seen somebody jump over a car and dunk a basketball at the same time, Roddy? No…? I didn’t think so.

Chris Duhon
"Watching Remember the Titians help u realize what true friendship is and who is really on your side!"

How I See It: I don’t need a film to tell me that Denzel Washington is always there to pick me up when I fall.

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Brandon Carr
"Man I hate going to restaurants where I can't read or comprehend anything on the menu"

How I See It: Stick with that attitude, Carr, and you'll miss out on a lot of great food. Bulgogi, tapas, enchiladas ... need I go on?

Cat Osterman
"I have the most ridiculous adopted daughter ever (not literally ppl).. She's obsessed w Justin Bieber!! Hahaha"

How I See It: What person with two X chromosomes isn't obsessed with Bieber?!

Michael Griffin
"At the sesame street show with the kids ... Cookie monster can dance"

How I See It: Sesame Street is the best. Not only did they rock the Grammys, they were hilarious on Top Chef on Wednesday night. It's great to stay in tune with childhood heroes. Elmo rocks!

Gerald McCoy
"Somebody asked what I missed most about OU. It is hands down the fans. The fans make us. More players need to realize that. I love you guys!"

How I See It: Fans definitely make the world go round. Nice to see someone keeping that in mind.

Martellus Bennett
"I jus got hit by a car!!!! Damn WTF. That s--- hurt. Ahhhhhh ... Ok I'm lying. Jus practicing for April Fools."

How I See It: A bit extreme for a practical joke, but no problem wanting to get ready for April a little early when it's still freezing cold.




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Myron Rolle
"Saw the Bieber movie, I've never seen fans react to an artist like they did him! He can sing though & works hard…"

How I See It: I’m pretty sure the Titans just released you into the free agency after reading that Tweet.

Alana Beard
"Who knew there was a Rosa Mexicano in LA. Best guacamole! Whoop whoop."

How I See It: Alana <3 nachos.

Ray Edwards
"Why health food stores never have regular water they always got that extra ish"

How I See It: Because the fancier the name, the healthier the water… duh.

Gerald McCoy
"God bless all the twitter world and more!!"

How I See It: Typically, God is just called upon to bless the United States of America, not a virtual society.

Joe Lauzon
"You can't rush art!"

How I See It: Tell that to Jackson Pollock.

JJ Watt
"Without teachers, where would we be?"

How I See It: Teaching people how to be teachers.

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Mike Vick
"Thank you, what up NY ! RT @StatCityNYK: @MikeVick Cud all ur fans hear in NY get a S/O frm u?! Were so happy 4 u!!"

How I See It: Dear Mike, @StatCityNYK is a fake Amar'e Stoudemire Twitter account. His actual account is @Amareisreal. When New Yorkers think of you, they remember the worst fourth quarter meltdown in NFL history. With all due respect, New York is not happy for you.

Nick Swisher
"RT @BradPenny: @NickSwisher slap aj for me >haha."

How I See It: Don't just slap him for Brad. Slap him on behalf of the entire Yankees Universe. Then maybe he'll throw strikes again.

John Wall
"Headed to Orlando!"

How I See It: Wizards vs. Magic! Celebrities in attendance: Daniel Radcliffe, Selena Gomez and the Lucky Charms Leprechaun.

Carmelo Anthony
"Happy Valentines Day to all the lovely ladies."

How I See It: I don't want to rat anybody out but that truck load of chocolates you got yesterday was from Donnie Walsh. And that life size teddy bear in an Amar'e Stoudemire jersey ... Walsh too.

Jozy Altidore
"@FreddyAdu11 lmao"

How I See It: That's cruel, man. Don't laugh at a former prodigy for arguably being the biggest disappointment in sports history.

CC Sabathia
"My baseball hero for Feb.12th in honor of BHM was my favorite player growing up... Rickey Henderson http://fb.me/RgFUYG7N"

How I See It: Yeah, you guys have a similar style of play.

Danilo Gallinari
"Due passi per white plains..westchester mall..now at home"

How I See It: Who knew that Danilo Gallinari spends his off-days like suburban New York housewife?

Earvin Magic Johnson
"If the season ended today, @RealLamarOdom should be the Sixth Man of the Year. He’s playing great....."

How I See It: No, at the Emmys, they refer to the award for best secondary actor as "Best Supporting Actor in a Reality Series." Magic's gotta steer clear of basketball terminology in pop culture.

Michael Huff
"I need a females opinion: Would you drive a pink car If your valentine got it for you or should I take it back now before she gets in town?"

How I See It: If it was from you or any other Oakland Raider, no. But anybody else, yes.

LeBron James
"Its all good O State! Time to re-group and get back to it! On To The Next One."

How I See It: LeBron James using the expression "on to the next one?" Oh, the irony.

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Carmelo Anthony
"I'll trade this 50 for a W. Anyone, Anyone."

How I See It: Knicks? Lakers? Nets? Heat? Okay, that last one wasn't funny.

Blake Griffin
"How many rules did James Naismith originally write to define the game of basketball?"

How I See It: I don't care. My question is: How many of Issac Newton's Laws of Motion have you defied this season?

Aaron Rodgers
"Thank you for all the kind words the last couple days. Got a chance to reflect on our special journey this year n wanted to thank all of...."

How I See It: ...Brett Favre for briefly retiring three years ago, thus forcing the Packers to make me the franchise quarterback.

Lamar Odom
"Fam you can now pre-order your bottle of Unbreakable today! http://bit.ly/ha1hME #Unbreakable"

How I See It: No one takes the manhood out of professional athletes like the Kardashians:

Dan Gilbert
"Detroit/Eminem/Chrysler TV ad had 2 fire U up whether U are from Detroit, Cleveland or any other midwest urban town that's on comeback road.!"

How I See It: Comeback road? I guess that's one way to put a 25-game losing streak.

Joba Chamberlain

"The doritos ones r classic and so was "what's a beiber". Haha. Hopefully more to come!"

How I See It: Over or under: Three Justin Biebers (i before e) can fit in one Joba Chamberlain uniform?

Deion Sanders
"Primetimers was Prime clean today or what? The suit is grey with tangerine stripes. Gucci shoes and men don't try this at home. Truth."

How I See It: Prime definitely didn't try to steal the spotlight on Sunday with his exotic attire or anything. No, he would never do that ...

Brian Kelly
"We are looking for some Irish fans to join us. It's a great experience and something you'll never forget. Fantasy camp info on und.com"

How I See It: Unfortunately, most Irish fans still haven't forgotten the Charlie Weis Era. And that wasn't a great experience.

Landry Fields
"Just left @NYSE_Euronext doing my shoot for @dimemag. Now headed to see my @nikebasketball fam!"

How I See It: New York Stock Exchange? I guess that's where the Knicks send their Stanford draftees on off-days.

LeBron James
"“@AirJordyn_: @KingJames hey LeBron!” Hey"

How I See It: This tweets reminds me how the nickname "King James" is just a tad more arrogant than "Air Jordan."

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Paul Bissonnette
"Is micheal Vick allowed to watch the puppy bowl?"

How I See It: Ask PETA.

Russell Okung
"#blueandgreen"

How I See It: Somebody is color blind.

Amir Khan
"Best looking women are cheryl cole, kelly brook, and mum!"

How I See It: Did you just hit on your mom?

Al-Farouq Aminu
"Look at shape up trying to be sexy. Lmao"

How I See It: Shape-Ups are the new high heels.

Mike Vick
"That game just motivated me to work a lot harder this off season"

How I See It: Oh, calm down, you just won the Comeback Player of the Year Award.

Kevin Boss
""To god be the glory!" amen Greg Jennings!"

How I See It: Greg Jennings put the team on his back in this one …

Darryl Talley
"So, who will Bills take in 1st round?"

How I See It: Give the Packers a chance to bask in their glory before you move on to April.

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