Louie Vito
"Bout to set a new personal record of 6 sushi rolls. I know no one cares but I'm stoked ha"

How I See It: I guess all the dead fish in the Arkansas River have to go somewhere.

Martellus Bennett
"Working on that stewie painting I was talking about should be dope"

How I See It: Introducing the future Vincent Van Gogh. Let's hope Bennett keeps both his ears.

Christina Kim
"@jeehaeda hahaha, you're so silly. And pretty. And smart. And you smell nice. Can I touch your hair?"

How I See It: Christina Kim schools us on how to flirt, Twitter-style.

Logan Morrison
"Just went to the bathroom. Washed my hands & licked the suds. Nope. Not for me."

How I See It: Uhh, are suds for anyone?!

Reggie Evans
"I am going to walk up to somebody and give them ticket for the game 2morrow."

How I See It: No one wants to go to a Toronto Raptors game. Not even for free.

Andre Reed
"RT: @Lindsey_012 is it going to be in all Wegmans?>>>> If its not at a store near you... please request that they carry it!!!!"

How I See It: With the addition of Reed's "special sauce" the best supermarket just got a little better. Gosh, I miss Wegmans.

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LeBron James
"Crazy. Karma is a b****.. Gets you every time. Its not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!"

How I See It: First of all, don't get all spiritual, LeBron. God is not making the Cavs have a bad season. The team got screwed over when its homegrown kid left after the Cavs had invested every dollar over seven seasons into his happiness. And secondly, if karma really is a b****, then why would you talk smack about the Cavs right here on your Twitter account, in front of the entire nation. God sees everything, you know ...

Braylon Edwards
"I love the jets and will do anything to stay here. I need the jet nation to speak on my behalf"

How I See It: They can't. Your coach won't shut up.

Kevin Durant
"Swiss cheesee"

How I See It: Don't hate on Nenad Kristic's defense like that.

Jimmy Clausen
"Congrats to Coach Rivera being named new Panthers HC!!! Look forward to meeting him and getting to work...#pantherpride"

How I See It: And I bet you can't wait for him to draft a new quarterback with the No. 1 overall pick!

Carmelo Anthony
"Day 1. I started my 21 day fast"

How I See It: Melo, we know you want a trade, but don't you think a hunger strike is a little too much?

Andy Roddick
"awkwardfamilyphotos.com ..... and .... damnyouautocorrect.com ....... you're welcome"

How I See It: Yeah, but you didn't have to interrupt the scene to take this picture. Adam Sandler was
only acting with Brooklyn.

Darrelle Revis
"Good morning people of the world."

How I See It: Thanks, Darrelle! We'll send a postcard to the Island shortly!

Usain Bolt
"Vote for mi dancer mystic YVA fav dancer "15 mystic" to 284-9900. RT plz"

How I See It: I have no idea what you're talking about, Usain, but if it has to do with voting for you as a dancer, I'm in.

Pete Carroll

"Still in awe of our fans today! You're world class and we owe you everything for doing your part to get this win!."

How I See It: And I'm still in awe that you fled USC on the eve of a scandal, slid into the playoffs at 7-9, and now have to only play the No. 2 seed in the divisional round.

Michael Strahan
"SB XLII champions!! RT @cjennings3: @AntonioPierce @michaelstrahan @SteveSmithNY that phoenix stadium brings back great memories"

How I See It: Yes. That is, pre-Matt Dodge memories.

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Chansi Stuckey
"I think I want a new dog. Needs to be large and hypoallergenic"

How I See It: I think Michael Vick knows a guy ... What? Too soon?

Steve Breaston

"Most over used word on this broadcast ... Predominantly...let's switch it up a little bit."

How I See It: Looks like somebody wants to replace either Joe Buck or Troy Aikman.

Jermichael Finley
"Do not punt to Jackson"

How I See It: You sound like Tom Coughlin.

Deion Sanders
"Must score for the eagles. They can't settle with a FG"

How I See It: I love how simple math lends itself to a Tweet.

Terrell Owens
"@StevieJohnson13 sup homie?"

How I See It: Please don’t corrupt Steve Johnson. He doesn’t need to be on VH1.

Mark Schlereth
"The Tuck rule is Stupid....therefore I expect the NFL to keep it as is!"

How I See It: Your logic is 100 percent correct.

Joel Hanrahan
"Pretty disappointed with the current issue of sky mall!"

How I See It: Please tell me you are not Tweeting from an altitude of 30,000 feet. I wonder what the captain has to say about this.

Andre Reed
"Ravens workin on all cylinders now!!!!!"

How I See It: They are birds, not cars.

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Kevin Weekes
"Hold up...Leafs up 9-1 over ATL ?!! "

How I See It: Atlanta sucks, Kevin. Badly.

Braylon Edwards
"This Midwest cold is serious. Been in new York so I definitely forgot "

How I See It: Well, who wouldn't get used to the beautiful, 85-degree beaches in New York during winter?

Patrick Willis
"Did I just feel an earthquake. Wow that made me nervous lol"

How I See It: That was actually just the balance of power in the NFC West and Pac-12 shifting.

Fabian Washington
"Owings Mills needs a Benihana's"

How I See It: Everywhere needs a Benihana.

Chad Ochocinco
"@terrellowens whats up bruh, its going on 3 oclock over here, enjoying Madrid, i have a trial (tryout) with Real Madrid after surgery "

How I See It: Ochocinco: Is there anything he can't do (other than win a Super Bowl)?

LeBron James
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. "

How I See It: Sounds like someone might be regretting some sort of decision that he made over the summer ...

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