Beanie Wells
"Somebody let me know where!"

How I See It: Mapquest.com will help you find your way.

Joe Haden
"Awwww somebody is in there feelings! Lmao! Ima b good 4ever! I got this! Do u"

How I See It: Just because you can only post a maximum of 140 characters, it doesn’t mean you are allowed to make absolutely no sense.

Luca Caputi
"Russell Westbrook is like Usain Bolt with the Rock! #madskill"

How I See It: There is absolutely no way he is that fast.

Kevin Boss
"Ray Allen's jumper is one of the prettiest things in all of sports"

How I See It: The last time I checked you play for a New York sports team.

Terrell Thomas
"I hate but respect big babys game"

How I See It: I hope Kevin Boss is taking notes on how to talk about Boston sports teams.

Chad Ochocinco
"Marathon Love Making"

How I See It: Child please, don’t post that type of stuff on Twitter. Keep it PG.

Adam Jones
"Got Internet for this 5.5 hour flight. A lot of tweeting."

How I See It: If it’s going to be five and a half hours of this, then just stick to brick breaker, please.

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Shelden Williams
"On the bus headed to the gym!! We play cleveland tonight!!"

How I See It: Why does he seem so excited about playing a team with 18 straight losses?

Logan Couture
"Getting ready to head to the draft tonight, wonder who the first pick will be..."

How I See It: Not you, rookie. Even though you deserve a chance.

Gerald McCoy
"Apparently driving and talking on the phone is illegal in Cali bc I just got a ticket for it!! Not even a warning. I have a Florida license."

How I See It:Yep. Has been for quite some time now. Maybe you should have done your homework.

Eric Berry
"I wish the twins coulda came."

How I See It: Only NFL players can tweet something like this and nobody bats an eyelash.

Matt Duchene
"Just found out last pick gets a car... I've swallowed my pride and am now welcoming the last pick haha"

How I See It: Pick me, Pick me!!! Oh, wait ... never mind.

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LeSean McCoy
"On my fat KFC food http://yfrog.com/h8d58cj"

How I See It: It's okay McCoy, you and the Eagles have all off-season to eat like crap before football starts again.

Paige Mackenzie
"Saw a guy practicing in nurse/doctor scrubs today....brings new meaning to playing golf after work."

How I See It: Hey, I think it's time golf fashion got an update. But wearing scrubs after spending the day changing bed pans? Nothing right about that.

Shawne Merriman
"The best thing to me is doing something good while no one is watching or getting credit for it!!! #2011"

How I See It: Well Merriman, no one really watches the Bills anymore, so put your money where your mouth is and step up and do something good. My Buffalo boys could use it.

Renee Montgomery
"Which is sexier: NY accents or country accentd?"

How I See It: Why would you want NY/Southern when you can have a British accent?

Matt Moulson
"Extremely excited to have another 3 years with a great organization...I love LI and am honored to be a part of this team"

How I See It: Stop trying to make up for the Nabokov debacle. Enjoy mediocrity in LI. That is, if the team is not moved ...

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Tiger Woods
"See you there! Take i-5 RT: @Sligh_Guy I'm thinking of driving down to SD to cheer you on. If you tweet me back I'll rent a tuxedo"

How I See It: Connecting with the fans, I love it. Tiger must be miserable.

Deion Sanders
"Goodmorning Primetimers! Today let's be a lil selfish. Make today about you. If you're not happy how can u make someone else happy? You 1st."

How I See It: Glad to see what makes athletes such great role models.

Mike Wallace
"Superbowl bound"

How I See It: Can't wait (I didn't think Bart Scott was going to say it this time)!

Hines Ward
"Wow. What can I say. Last night was awesome. The crowd was crazy. And I jumped into the stands to celebrate with... http://fb.me/IWwYlcSw"

How I See It: Really? That was how you celebrated? I expected a few drinks with Rex Ryan and Antonio Cromartie.

Clay Matthews
"Don't you guys drop me... I'm worth a million dollars!!"

How I See It: Thanks for reminding us how much you get paid to tackle other human beings. Good luck at the Super Bowl.

Chris Johnson
"Headed to hawaii for probow right now"

How I See It: So are the 2,000-3,000 fans that will be in attendance.

J.R. Smith
"#jerzeyboy"

How I See It: I know you want Melo gone to actually have a reason to hog the ball, but he's not going to the Nets anymore.

Curtis Granderson
"http://plixi.com/p/72090258 Finding Jets fans even in New Zealand"

How I See It: This is good news. Call the U.S. Navy and tell them to send a boat to survey the surrounding area. You may have finally found Revis Island.

DeMarcus Cousins
"RT @lilniko_5 skype me.... niko.williams2"

How I See It: Need someone to vent to after Sports Illustrated called you "the next Derrick Coleman?"

LeBron James
"Hahahahahahahahaha. James Brown and the E Trade Baby was just talking about the Jets-Steelers game. Hilarious"

How I See It: Is it embarrassing that the E*TRADE baby's grammar is twice as good as yours?

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Maurice Jones-Drew
"I switch my pick bc the bears have todd collins in... And the packers D is on attack mode"

How I See It: Mojo: I know you’re not used to picking teams because you are too busy playing for the Jags, but typically once you say one team will win … your pick is locked and it cannot be changed given the events of the game.

Alexi Lalas
"That should be a throw-in for the Jets."

How I See It: I know you're a soccer commentator, but still ... you should know that there are no throw-ins in AMERICAN football.

Leigh Bodden
"JETS can't stop that fuel from leakin.. #sittinontherunway"

How I See It: I hope you’re not talking about the BP oil spill… because they plugged that a few months ago.

Kevin Durant
"Mendenhall is like a bulldozer with a bugatti engine!"

How I See It: ... that's got the steering of a Porsche!

Patrick Patterson
"This is ugly haha. Smart for Sanchez to fake injury n leave game before gets any uglier."

How I See It: Pretty boy doesn’t want to lose again in the AFC Championship.

Sean Weatherspoon
"Did Sanchez just put a booger on dude? Lol"

How I See It: They don't have "terrible handkerchiefs" in Pittsburgh, just terrible towels.

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Chad Ochocinco
"In case of a NFL lockout i'll be a full time model n attach booking n email info to my bio on my profile?My fee=same amount if I was playing"

How I See It: Though this seems ridiculous, the salaries would probably come out close to the same without the fines Chad would get as an NFL player. Unless, of course, you are fined for inappropriate celebrations while modeling.

Chris Johnson
"Mohawk coming soon"

How I See It: Just in from ESPN: "With his new hairstyle, Chris Johnson vows to rush for 2500 yards in 2011!"

Dave Zabriskie
"I just shattered the kitchen table...oops...clean up time."

How I See It: Hate when that happens.

James Harden
"Who's a better duo? LiL Wayne & Drake or Jay-Z and Kayne??????"

How I See It: This is like comparing Westbrook and KD to Lebron and Wade--Wayne and Drake are not there yet.

DeJuan Blair
"PEOPLE KILL ME SMGDH!!! FAM and FRIENDS I HATE WEN PEOPLE TRY TO FIT N!!! B URSELF U WILL GO FARTHER U KEEP WORRYING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE SMH!"

How I See It: I like this. Probably the only attitude to have when you are fighting through knees without ACL's.

Reggie Miller
"Abt to watch a taping of the Oprah Show, so excited.. Go ahead O!!!!!!"

How I See It: And now we know where Miller gets all of his expert analysis from.

Terrence Williams
"Food call of duty for a hour then a nap before my game #wordaapp"

How I See It: It's amazing how Williams isn't playing better with such a functional pre-game routine.

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Darrelle Revis
"I wish I had some starburst right now"

How I See It: Sit tight, Darrelle. You can leave the Island right after you win the Super Bowl.

Tiger Woods
"Don't usually do foundation shoots on the range, looking forward to exciting things this spring. http://yfrog.com/h2np7tij"

How I See It: Don't usually do things to connect with fans, but have to tweet to restore your image.

John Wall
"YepRT @nicolecarman93: Coach Calipari is a great man!! @jimmywa11 had a great coach!"

How I See It: Yeah, gotta love a guy who starts texting recruits in fourth grade.

Blake Griffin
""The most dangerous thing today is yesterdays success" back 2 work.. love my teammates... we all know we got each others backs!"

How I See It: Dude, screw that quote. You dropped 47 last night. Don't be humble.

Allen Iverson
"surgery. I have never said anything about retirement nor have I said goodbye to the game of basketball. I love this game! That is why I"

How I See It: On 11/25/09, you tweeted "I would like to announce my plans to retire from the National Basketball Association." But you've never said anything about retirement, right?

Tim Tebow
"Welcome to Denver Coach Fox! Can't wait to get to work with you!!! About Coach Fox RT @johnelway: He is a dynamic and proven leader..."

How I See It: We understand you need to suck up to the coach to keep your job, but do you have to make it so obvious?

Carmelo Anthony
"The true measure of a man is not how he lives in times of prosperity but in times of adversity ""

How I See It: What about adversity over becoming more prosperous? Not like you're going through that or anything ...

Santonio Holmes
"Knock! Knock! IM BAAAAACCCCK!"

How I See It: Starting the trash talking on Tuesday? That's pretty late in the week for a Jet.

Devin Hester
"God has really bless me this season playoff-pro bowl- all pro team and what's next ???????????"

How I See It: Being eliminated by the team that you had a chance to get knock out of the playoffs three weeks ago.

LeBron James
"Before u can see sun shine, u have to whether the storm."

How I See It: Don't you realize that this country hates you and you will never be able to WEATHER the storm?

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Cole Aldrich
"Pedicure. Gotta take care of the feet that God blessed me with. Even though they are ugly! #toosexyformysox. Haha"

How I See It: I am sure Rex Ryan doesn’t think those feet are ugly.

Donte Stallworth
"To a man that sacrifices his LIFE and compromises his family & their well being for a cause greater than himself gets ALL my respect "

How I See It: Stallworth compromised his family for a less nobler causing in drinking and driving but like to see that he is giving respect to Dr. King on his day.

Tyrell Sutton
"Anybody know where the best / dry cleaners is? Cuz the one i been going to rip a hole in my pocket everytime"

How I See It: Maybe you should start worrying about getting on the field more as opposed to your pockets considering you got only 13 carries with the worst team in the league.

Lance Armstrong
"Up early here in OZ. Anti-doping blood control for the UCI."

How I See It: No point in testing again because we all know the truth.

Pete Carroll
"in our team mtg this afternoon, we already turned our focus to 2011... we're so pumped to take you along with us! #12thMan"

How I See It: It's understandable that the meeting quickly turned to 2011 since there was nothing good about yesterday’s performance against the Bears.

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Keith Eloi
"Anyone know a good quality site where I can go to watch the next game?"

How I See It: www.ishouldgobuyanHDTVrightnow.com

Glenn Dorsey
"Definatley will be in Chicago next weekend.…"
How I See It: You definitely will not be participating in a spelling bee any time soon.

Jennie Finch
"Hard to beat this Sunday! Church, Lunch, Massage, & a Facial... A blessed day indeed!"

How I See It: Jennie, you kind of forgot the biggest thing about this Sunday: Two divisional playoff games. Tisk, tisk.

Darryl Talley
"Seahawks ain't runnin for the bus."

How I See It: They are running all the way back to Seattle after that loss today.

Jerryd Bayless
"New orleans you know its love"

How I See It: No. That was last year when the Saints won the Super Bowl.

Brandon Jennings
"Black Roses…"

How I See It: Well, if that’s not an oxymoron I’m not sure what is.

Mark Schlereth
"Cutler and the Bears looked great today but the Seahawks looked like they thought they were on a bye week"

How I See It: If they thought they were on a bye week, then they probably wouldn’t have even shown up to the stadium to get humiliated.

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Devin Hester
"Loading up on redbull game time coming baby!!!!!!"

How I See It: Devin Hester is already too fast. Giving him Red Bull should be illegal.

Terrell Thomas
"My service sucks in my house, gotta do better"

How I See It: You are an NFL player. Just buy a new one.

Golden Tate
"Wow 12th man ..... Y'all r amazing 10 miles down the road I see hundreds of people on a overpass cheering us on! Goooo hawks"

How I See It: Wonder if they'll still be enthusiastic after you get killed by the Bears.

Steve Nash
"Sun roof is open. If only this wasn't a hybrid somebody would be cool as hell...."

How I See It: Hippie Canadians and their hybrids and environment ...

Jahvid Best
""Failure IS success if you learned from it""

How I See It: Yes, but is success ever failure? Deep questions ...

Fabian Washington
"Just walking the streets of Pittsburg looking for food"

How I See It: Watch out for James Harrison. He loves cheap-shotting Ravens.

Eric Wright
"Hhmmm this guy is unarmed! Let's c.. Mace, No! Billy club, No! Taser gun, No! Oohhh here we go, Ima SHOOT this dude wit my glock!!"
How I See It: Is that a reference to LeBron James murdering Cleveland's soul?

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