Not so long ago, in a land called Chicago, Martellus Bennett and Kyle Long lives happy, idyllic lives. They made absurd amounts of money playing a sport, and they had each other's friendship -- a friendship that survived offseasons, free agencies, Jay Cutler and so much more.
But it couldn't survive Twitter. Although the two are rumored to have followed one another on the social network, Long noticed this week that Bennett was no longer subscribing to his updates -- an unforgivable diss in 2015, and one by which Long could not abide.
And so, in a tale as old as time itself, the two friends Martellus and Kyle became frenemies.
I'm afraid I have to reciprocate your act. You have been unfollowed @MartysaurusRex
— nothing to see here (@Ky1eLong) January 11, 2015
A bold action. And Bennett was quick to reciprocate:
@Ky1eLong why are you worried about who is following you on twitter? More important shit is happening in my world than Kyle Long's tweets
— Martellus Bennett (@MartysaurusRex) January 13, 2015
@Ky1eLong I don't need this form of social currency maybe you do. If a follow from me is going to make you feel wealthier socially, then
— Martellus Bennett (@MartysaurusRex) January 13, 2015
@Ky1eLong u need to get out more. I prefer our day to day interactions in person. But that's just me. You have my number. Stop the bullshit
— Martellus Bennett (@MartysaurusRex) January 13, 2015
Gauntlet. Thrown.
It's important to point out that Long has since blacked out his profile picture and changed his Twitter name to "nothing to see here." Is this a cry for help? A rejection of Twitter and its social norms? Is Kyle Long metaphorically shutting his eyes and pretended this didn't just happen in front of his 120,000-plus followers? We can't be sure.
Like sands through the hourglass, so is the long NFL offseason.
