"Since we caught Osama do I still have to take my laptop out at security?"
How I See It: What do you mean by "we?" I didn't know Canadians were considered Americans too, eh.
"Guy just asked me about the lockout like I know wth is going on your guess is as good as mine bud #NFL"
How I See It: You said the same thing about PED testing...
"The principles of Islam are peace & love. Please don't confuse Osama's views as the view of Muslims."
How I See It: I could be wrong, but didn't this guy bite off part of another dude's ear (while fist-fighting him)?
"Big night at the tables with Mayer. He's cool. We both walked away winners."
How I See It: This should help your image.
"It was a great honor to go to the White House Correspondents Dinner...enjoyed myself!!!"
How I See It: This is all John Wall heard throughout the night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOJ1HEf06js&feature=related
"@SteveNash never knew u were such a big soccer fan. I knew u liked it but damn u on it like the rest of us that actually play everyday."
How I See It: You play every day? But you're not very goo ... never mind.
"Looks nasty outside! Wow"
How I See It: Three places the Yankees may have sent Phil Hughes: Siberia, the minor leagues or Citi Field.
"Man that ovie is terrible when he gets a little space!!"
How I See It: Coming from the ultimate scorer himself ...
"Put the kids to bed... Finally getting some grub"
How I See It: At 9:10! Well, that was speedy.
"Read my comments on the Kentucky Combine & Derrick Rose being named NBA MVP - only at one place, CoachCal.com!! http://bit.ly/kievHT"
How I See It: You know he's going to take full credit for this even if he hasn't taken anything for Rose since the SATs.