Jalen Rose has a nice job as one of the top NBA commentators for ESPN. At Thursday night's NBA draft, Rose stretched his credibility to its limit -- and some would argue he went far beyond the limits of reason.
Throughout the broadcast, Rose punctuated the night's events with strange noises and celebrations blurted out-of-turn. But nothing was better than his string of player comparisons, which were a mix of extreme hyperbole and senseless commentary.
His observations often seemed based on nothing but a quick five-second glimpse of an incoming rookie, followed by some excited sputtering of famous names from the NBA's past.
Basically, Jalen Rose turned his job of interpreting the NBA draft into a word association game. It was awful journalism, but great television. And several NBA players chimed in on the performance.
Best part of the draft is jalen's comparisons....
— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) June 26, 2015
One of Rose's best/worst moments came at the 22nd overall pick, where the Chicago Bulls picked Arkansas' Bobby Portis. Sure, it looked like a good pick, given that some had projected Portis as a lottery pick and he fell all the way to the lower third of the round.
But Rose was quick to overstate Portis' potential. He immediately compared him to Rasheed Wallace, a four-time NBA All-Star who might make it into the Basketball Hall of Fame someday.
The apparent equation Rose used: Portis' height + shooting range + crazy streak = Rasheed Wallace.
So when you break down the math, you can see how easy this game is. But some players still took issue.
it's OK to have player comparisons like Scalabrine, me, etc. not everybody needs an all star comparison. lls
— Kendall Marshall (@KButter5) June 26, 2015
I'm gonna have to talk to @JalenRose about some of these player comparisons
— JARRETT JACK (@Jarrettjack03) June 26, 2015
In fact, Rose had a player comparison for almost every player selected in the first round. Karl-Anthony Towns? Patrick Ewing! Willie-Cauley Stein? Tyson Chandler! Sam Dekker? Wally Szczerbiak!
Yahoo's Kelly Dwyer offers a simple guide for approximating the strategy Rose was using to assess incoming players:
Jalen Rose's Comparison Chart: Lefties = Older lefties White dudes = Older white dudes Guys named Tyler = Other Tylers Pizza = Pizza pies
— Kelly Dwyer (@KDonhoops) June 26, 2015
But if you're expecting Rose to regret his actions, guess again. At the draft's conclusion, he heard the criticism his comments were getting. But no one could ruin his mood:
— Jalen Rose (@JalenRose) June 26, 2015
Congrats to this year's NBA draft class, which, according to Jalen Rose, is filled with future All-Stars and Hall-of-Fame players. Good luck filling those shoes.