Dear Washington State fans,
The possibility of Washington State beating Arizona this weekend does not keep me up at night. In fact, the chance of the Cougars having any sort of advantage over Arizona is not something I'll ever worry about. WSU, you should be worried.
Arizona has a lot to brag about, not just in football but in many areas. Let me count the ways.
First, I have yet to meet a legitimate Cougar fan. I may not live in Washington or spend much time there, but the Washington Husky fan base is serious business. Sorry to bring up a touchy subject, it can't be fun living in the shadow of your "rival" Washington. Your program just won't be as relevant as the famed Huskies. I'd like to say I understand what it's like to be the lesser in-state rival, but I can't relate.
Arizona's student section alone seats 9,000. And it's loud, real loud. The whole city of Tucson, with a population of more than 1 million people, is Wildcat territory. Pullman's population is around 30,000. Arizona Stadium itself averages around 47,000 people. Washington State sits at the bottom of the Pac-12 in attendance. How does that make you feel?
Butch T. Cougar, you've got your work cut out for you. WSU has no real traditions, nothing to define itself, no rich football history and a sad lack of identity.
Enjoy your trip down to Tucson, it'll be a nice little escape from the city of Pullman, which nobody knows anything about. All I know is I checked the weather this morning and it was 42 degrees and mostly cloudy. I'll take this 77 degree, clear skied, Tucson in November day instead.
But really, though, what do you even do in Pullman?
While you're here, take a look at our brand new football facility. It's better than anything you'll ever have. There's really nothing about Martin Stadium that stands out in college football. You'll be lucky if your athletics department even considers funding better concessions.
Now let's finally get to the football.
The Cougars haven't been to a bowl game since 2003. Allow me to stomp on your dreams right now, and tell you it's once again just not going to happen this year. It is nice being in a bowl game, Arizona is still smiling about its New Mexico Bowl win just about a year ago.
Sorry to tell you, though, a football team that plays in a bowl game usually has a grasp on a little thing called fundamentals.
Quarterback Connor Halliday has shown me more unnecessary throws than I can believe. This Cougar team is so prone to silly fumbles and mistakes, with an intimidating Arizona crowd added to the mix (and yes, you should be intimidated if you know what's best for you), there's a higher risk for flubs. That's OK with us. We'll gladly take as many screw-up passes Halliday sends our way.
You hold a 4-5 record, which I wouldn't go around boasting about. Sure, you had some tough opponents, but get used to it, you're in the Pac-12. You did however, suffer a pretty embarrassing loss to Arizona State. 55-21? There's no excuse for that. In fact, you've lost by an average of 26.2 points per game. I can't even feel bad for you.
If you're traveling out to Tucson to root on your Cougars, start your search now for places to drink your sorrows away after you increase that losing average.
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