There's another football championship on the horizon, which means it's time to whip out the all-important matchup breakdowns to determine which team enters with the advantage. Super Bowl XLIX pits the defending champion Seattle Seahawks against the dynastic New England Patriots.

You already know that one thrives on a strong defense, while the other leans heavily on the arm of a future Hall of Fame quarterback. But which one has the best seafood in town? These and other matters are settled, once and for all.

Seahawks-Patriots: Totally Not The X's & O's

Best Coaching Pedigree
 

Best Coaching Pedigree

Pete Carroll is the defending Super Bowl champ, which gives him the momentum. He also won the 2005 BCS Championship with USC and brought that team to the title game the following year. But Belichick is a bona fide legend: three Super Bowl wins and six Super Bowl appearances, not to mention two more championships as an assistant. He's not the friendliest guy, but he wins as well as anyone. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Highest Integrity
 

Highest Integrity

Pete Carroll committed recruiting violations at USC and had wins expunged due to certain players receiving excessive benefits. Not a high-integrity track record, granted. But Belichick's Patriots have the reputation of serial cheaters: first Spygate, and now Deflategate. There's just no defending the Patriots from an ethical stance. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Best Tailgate Experience
 

Best Tailgate Experience

Seahawks fans deserve credit, but the Gronk bus brings the party. If you can find the Gronkowski's, you're at the center of the tailgating universe. And it's not just the First Family of Partying that wins this for New England: Boston knows how to have a good time. It's a runaway. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Uniforms
 

Best Uniforms

The Seahawks haven't always been pretty, but their current green-and-blue combo sure do look classy -- and they fit the aesthetic of Seattle quite nicely. The Patriots, aside from minor alterations, have more or less maintained a look they've been sporting since the 90s. It's nice and all, but the new hotness wins out here. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Best Brew
 

Best Brew

Sam Adams exists in a gray area where it's either a fantastic mainstream beer or a bad microbrew. Sometimes you're grateful to have it as an option, sometimes you avoid it. Seattle, meanwhile, has no shortage of great beer to choose from. Mac & Jack's is one of its better-known local beers, and it's tough to find outside of the Pacific Northwest. If you haven't tried it, you should. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Most Famous Fan: Chris Pratt vs. Mark Wahlberg
 

Most Famous Fan: Chris Pratt vs. Mark Wahlberg

Mark Wahlberg is as synonymous with Boston as almost any other celebrity is with their hometown. No diss to Wahlberg, but there are few stars shining brighter than Chris Pratt right now. Between Guardians of the Galaxy and this summer's Jurassic Park, Pratt is one of the biggest movie stars out there. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Best Iconic Food: Coffee vs. Boston Cream Pie
 

Best Iconic Food: Coffee vs. Boston Cream Pie

They pair well together. But on their own, one is the elixir of life. The other is a pie. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Seahawk vs. Patriot: Who Wins a Fight?
 

Seahawk vs. Patriot: Who Wins a Fight?

Hard to envision a seahawk doing too much damage to a person. We're picking the guy holding a musket. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Citywide Fire: 1889 Seattle vs. 1872 Boston
 

Best Citywide Fire: 1889 Seattle vs. 1872 Boston

Seattle and Boston were home to some of the largest urban fires in U.S. history. Seattle's blaze destroyed the city's central business district, leveling the area and prompting the city to rebuild streets and buildings over the rubble -- the downtown area now sits 22 feet higher than the original burned roads. But Boston's fire was much bigger, causing more than $70 million in damage and killing at least 30 people. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Movie: Sleepless in Seattle vs. Good Will Hunting
 

Best Movie: Sleepless in Seattle vs. Good Will Hunting

Sleepless in Seattle is fine, if you're in to that sort of thing. But Good Will Hunting is just the best of many great Boston films, including Boondock Saints, The Fighter and The Departed. If you combine the movies from both cities, Sleepless in Seattle maybe lands as the fifth-best movie. Boston's movie cred is serious. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Franchise Legacy
 

Best Franchise Legacy

Yes, Seattle seems to be on the cusp of dynasty talk. But there's not much else to pad the Seahawks resume. New England, on the other hand, has three Super Bowl wins since 2001 and a consistent track record of winning in this century. Maybe in five years Seattle will have a better case. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Historical Relevance: Early Tech Giants vs. Bunker Hill
 

Historical Relevance: Early Tech Giants vs. Bunker Hill

America, Revolution, Freedom. Boston is pretty important as one of the central characters in America's fight for independence. Of course, Bill Gates helped change the world with Microsoft and the personal computer, and fellow Seattle titan Amazon completely changed the retail world. All very impressive things, but history opened the doors for those achievements. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Band: Nirvana vs. Aerosmith
 

Best Band: Nirvana vs. Aerosmith

This one's tough. Aerosmith is considered by many to be one of the great rock groups of all time. Nirvana, meanwhile, was one of the most prominent grunge bands to emerge from that era. But Nirvana has also crossed the divide from popular band to iconic act, and its central role in the grunge scene -- which started in Seattle -- makes it a more integral piece of that city's history. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Greatest Franchise Star: Walter Jones vs. Tom Brady
 

Greatest Franchise Star: Walter Jones vs. Tom Brady

As far as starpower and icons goes, Seattle is a little thin. That's no disrespect to Walter Jones, who was a dominant lineman for more than a decade with the Seahawks. But up against a guy entrenched in the discussion of greatest quarterback of our generation, Walter Jones is outmanned. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Stadium: CenturyLink Field vs. Gillette Stadium
 

Best Stadium: CenturyLink Field vs. Gillette Stadium

There's nothing wrong with Gillette Stadium, but there's nothing all that impressive, either, unless you count the New England snow. CenturyLink Field is newer, more beautiful, and it serves as the epicenter for the occasional touchdown-triggered earthquake. As a game environment, this one's a blowout. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Best Seafood: Salmon vs. Clam Chowder
 

Best Seafood: Salmon vs. Clam Chowder

This one seems like a win-win. In one corner, wild-caught salmon exquisitely cooked, perhaps on a cedar plank. Salmon's as delicious as it is healthy. Clam chowder can't make any claims to longer-lasting life, but it's hearty, clammy, and the perfect food on a rainy day. We'll take both, but if we have to pick, it's the soup by a spoon. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Worst Weather: Seattle's Rain vs. Boston's Winter
 

Best Worst Weather: Seattle's Rain vs. Boston's Winter

Hey, this isn't San Diego. Seattle and New England have their pretty days and their not-so-pretty days. In Seattle, it rains like a jungle, and gray clouds are even more common than the drizzle. Boston is familiar with cold, snowy winters, but at least the bad days aren't so darn relentless. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Famous Landmark: Seattle's Space Needle vs. Boston's Fenway Park
 

Best Famous Landmark: Seattle's Space Needle vs. Boston's Fenway Park

The Space Needle was and remains an architectural marvel, not to mention one of the most iconic skyscrapers in the United States. Fenway is iconic as far as baseball parks go, and the Green Monster is a thing to see, but there's broader appeal -- and greater stature -- in Seattle. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

Best Groundswell of Political Revolution: 'Cascadia'  vs. Boston Tea Party
 

Best Groundswell of Political Revolution: 'Cascadia' vs. Boston Tea Party

Pretty awesome how revolutionaries just dumped a bunch of tea into the Boston Harbor. Historic as it is, though, the residents of Seattle -- a proposed part of breakaway nation Cascadia -- are content to take their political unrest as far as waving flags. Yes, the independent nation of Cascadia has some support, but no one's ready to take action. ADVANTAGE: PATRIOTS

Best Body of Water: Puget Sound vs. Boston Harbor
 

Best Body of Water: Puget Sound vs. Boston Harbor

Killer whales in the Puget Sound. Killer whales. All you need to know. ADVANTAGE: SEAHAWKS

YOUR WINNER: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
 

YOUR WINNER: NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

In a close 11-9 contest, the Patriots have emerged as the victor in all of the things that don't matter. Seattle fans will surely be bitter, but on this day, at least, New England walks away with a very subjective, highly scientific championship. You decide whether the result is fair or not. We'll let the Super Bowl handle the grudge match.

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