OK, first things first: go here, and immediately buy a ticket. Done? Great, now grab your calendar. Ugh, OK, buy a calendar, and draw a line between Oct. 10-13, and write "Great American Beer Festival" in big letters, because that's what you just signed up for.

The Great American Beer Festival: 3 Days, 2.8k Brews And YOU Slideshow

Great American Beer Festival

Now that's all sorted out, you just need to get to the Colorado Convention Center in Denver for the opening, and join this swarthy band of hooligans. More From Thrillist: Drink Your Way Down The Franco-Swiss Absinthe Trail

Great American Beer Festival

Clearly, when they first open the gates on Thursday at 5:30 p.m., it's quite exciting. More From Thrillist: Travel To Amsterdamn For The 2013 Cannabis Cup

Great American Beer Festival

Once inside the Colorado Convention Center, what awaits is more goddamn beer than you have ever seen in one place in your entire life... 600 brewers ... more than 2,800 beers ... Oh, good god! More From Thrillist: A 12-Day Oktoberfest Tour So Insane Only 24 People Can Go

Great American Beer Festival

It is a land so glorious that the Beer Man exists. More From Thrillist: A 12-Day Oktoberfest Tour So Insane Only 24 People Can Go

Great American Beer Festival

Everyone is SO excited there! More From Thrillist: The 9 Swankiest, Tastiest, Booziest Bowling Alleys in America

Great American Beer Festival

You're damn right that's Dr. Zaius and Abe Lincoln exchanging pleasantries. More From Thrillist: Dodgers Stadium Introduces Frozen Beer Foam

Great American Beer Festival

Some people wear neat helmets when they go. More From Thrillist: These Are The Country's Craziest Eating Challenges

Great American Beer Festival

While others wear even NEATER helmets when they go. More From Thrillist: The Best Bar In The World

Great American Beer Festival

It was nice of all these people to wear silly costumes in order to make their white-haired friend feel less like a total freak. More From Thrillist: The 5 Most Expensive Tequila Shots In America

Great American Beer Festival

People who've been drinking for three days straight bring a whole new meaning to the term photo-bombed. More From Thrillist: The 23 Best Craft Beer Tap Handles In The Country

Great American Beer Festival

They have headphone dance parties in an effort not to disturb the beer drinkers. More From Thrillist: The 14 Greatest TV Beers Of All Time

Great American Beer Festival

There are even girls there... Nerdy girls. More From Thrillist: 9 Great Brews Aged In Something Other Than A Bourbon Bottle

Great American Beer Festival

Some of the girls even get WAAAAAY into karaoke. More From Thrillist: The Most Talked About Fast Food Burgers In The US

Great American Beer Festival

Throw away those ratty No Fear and Bear Whiz tees, because they've got literally thousands of beer tees to replace them. More From Thrillist: The 17 Most Incredible Moments In Twinkie History