By Drew Magary
GQ.com
The cruelty of sports is that a single brain fart can define an entire career. But feel no pity for the idiots on this list: They deserve that permanent dunce cap welded to their pin heads.
The XVIII Worst Decisions In Sports History
XVIII. The Knicks let Jeremy Lin walk
Any Knicks fans who say this was wise are just deluding themselves out of psychological necessity.
XVIII. The Knicks let Jeremy Lin walk
They cannot face the truth -- that owner James Dolan is a petty bastard who let a rising talent and marketing behemoth leave for nothing -- because it would lead inexorably to self-immolation.
XVIII. The Knicks let Jeremy Lin walk
To be a Knicks fan now, you must be able to maintain your reality-distortion field and believe that, at any moment, a purple unicorn will gallop into Madison Square Garden and gift the court with solid-gold robot versions of the 1972–73 Knicks.
XVII. The Miracle at the Meadowlands
All the Giants had to do was take a knee and they had the Eagles beaten.
XVII. The Miracle at the Meadowlands
Instead, with thirty-one seconds left in a 1978 game, they called a running play. Why why why why? Why would you do that?
XVII. The Miracle at the Meadowlands
Quarterback Joe Pisarcik botched the handoff, and defensive back Herman Edwards scooped up the ball and scored the winning touchdown. Without that play, the Giants win and Edwards never becomes famous enough to go on ESPN and give phony pep talks to NFL teams that make me want to cut myself with a broken salad-dressing bottle.
XVI. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson head off to Mexico
Of all the doomed romantic pairings in sports, none can match the jinxing power of Jessica Simpson and her pink Romo jersey. The Dallas Cowboys quarterback could have had any hot anonymous Texas blonde he wanted.
XVI. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson head off to Mexico
Instead, he hitched himself to that big-titted tiki doll and swiftly acquired the taste for choking in big games that he has yet to shake.
XVI. Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson head off to Mexico
Taking Simpson to Los Cabos just before the start of the 2008 NFL playoffs was the finishing touch. You're supposed to be studying film.
XV. Al Davis drafts JaMarcus Russell number one
In his most glorious act of self-sabotage, Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis fell in love with Russell's arm strength and drafted him first overall, then handed him over $30 million in guaranteed money -- even though his chosen meat puppet of a coach, Lane Kiffin, strongly objected.
XV. Al Davis drafts JaMarcus Russell number one
After Russell's awful rookie year, Davis wrote a letter to Kiffin that said, "I do realize that you did not want us to draft JaMarcus Russell. He is a great player."
XV. Al Davis drafts JaMarcus Russell number one
No. He was the single worst draft choice in NFL history.
XIV. Brett Favre sends photos to Jenn Sterger
Because what's the worst thing that could happen after you expose yourself to a girl who has already spurned your advances and knows how to press a "forward" button?
XIII. Ron Artest goes after a Detroit fan in the stands
I don't think Artest is fully aware that he's trying to punch someone until his fist is two inches away from that person's face. The rest of the time, he's thinking about fudge.
XIII. Ron Artest goes after a Detroit fan in the stands
Including Ron Artest (a.k.a. Metta World Peace) on this list suggests that Artest is capable of governing his own thoughts and actions. I'm not sure that's the case.
More From GQ:
-- GQ's Sexiest Women Of 2012
-- The Secrets And Lies Of Joe Paterno
-- The GQ Guide To Suits
