Everyone thinks they're a Grill Master on the Fourth of July. They momentarily forget that they spend most of the year scraping charred salmon off their grates and plucking stray asparagus spears from between them like a game of Operation. The grocery store pyramids of charcoal and lighter fluid cause culinary amnesia, long enough to fill the cart with burgers and steaks, and burn them to a crisp under the glow of bombs bursting in air.

Independence Day was indeed made for grilling, but not all observers of the holiday can say the same. A "No. 1 Dad" apron and a light beer does not suddenly turn one into Bobby Flay. But the true fault of these epicurean crimes lies with us, the eaters. We happily scarf down torched hot dogs and over-toasted buns. If we paused for even a minute between watermelon wedges and sparklers to suggest that maybe the flames didn't need to be over head, we might not have this degustational disaster.

Let this be the year we pull aside Uncle Ned and pass along some sage advice. The following tips will help even the most Neanderthal of fire tenders deliver a finger-licking fourth. But if you can't bring yourself to break the bad news, you can always apply these nuggets when the grill master heads to the cooler for a refill.

-- Adam Watson is the food czar at ThePostGame. You can follow him on Twitter @AdamKWatson.

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