1. Monster Slam

As you've probably heard, Kendrick Perkins is the new Timofey Mozgov. Griffin is a monster -- but a good monster, kind of like Sully from "Monsters Inc."

2. The Return Of Kenny Powers

A few weeks ago, we brought you a teaser trailer for the new season of Eastbound and Down. Here's the full trailer for the season, complete with outrageous NSFW one-liners by Kenny Powers.

3. Madden Predicts The Super Bowl

In a Madden simulation of the Super Bowl, the Giants defeated the Patriots 27-24 on a Lawrence Tynes field goal as time expired. So now there's no reason to play the game, right?

4. Seinfeld's (Kind Of) Return To TV

Not to be outdone by Honda's Ferris Bueller Super Bowl ad, Acura is shooting back with a commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld and some Seinfeldian surprises. What's next, a "Wonder Years" themed BMW commercial featuring Fred Savage?

Exercise To Undo Hours Of Sitting
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1. Leaps And Bounds

The 5-11 John Lucas was the only thing that stood in LeBron James' way from throwing down a thunderous alley-oop last night against the Bulls. James did what most of us can't do when we face obstacles in life - he jumped clean over it.

2. Ferris Bueller's Honda

Check out Honda's Super Bowl commercial, featuring Matthew Broderick reprising his role as Ferris Bueller. While it dashes the hope, which sprouted last week, of a Bueller sequel, it's a fun commercial with some nice homages to the classic film.

3. Marshall's Amazing Grab

The NFL Pro Bowl is the worst all-star game in major sports. But despite its faults, you can't deny the talent of some of these players -- take MVP Brandon Marshall and his spectacular circus touchdown catch Sunday.

4. Diop's Dud

I've seen Dwight Howard and LeBron James air ball free throws, but DeSagana Diop was at least a foot short of the front rim during a game against the Wizards this weekend. I've never understood -- nor will I ever understand -- how someone who made it to the NBA could miss free throws this badly.

5. Chara Hits The Puck Hard

During this weekend's Skills Competition, Zdeno Chara set a world record with a 108.8 mph slap shot. No amount of pads can save you from the beast that is Chara.

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1. All In A Good Day

Strikeforce's Ronda Rousey would beat you up. If you are reading this, she'd beat you within an inch of your life. Don't believe me? Peep this interview where she details her whuppin' of four men at the movie theater AFTER chucking one of their girlfriend's shoes across the cineplex. I need a wife like this.

2. Cash Money

Forbes ranked NBA franchises according to their value, and my beloved Bulls came in third. The Lake Show predictably came in first, with the sorry Knickerbockers coming in second. I'll live with this. It'll be the only thing they beat the Bulls in for the next five years.

3. Cutler Disconnect?

The Chicago Sun-Times has many readers. I am not one of them, but that doesn't mean there isn't some quality journalism in between the pages. Take Rick Telander's expose on why Jay Cutler is not a winner. Shockingly, it's not because the Bears haven't won a championship since 1985. Nope, it's because Jay Cutler doesn't say 'hello' to people in the locker room. Makes so much sense now.

4. Unqualified

I feel kind of bad for this Costa Rican keeper. Terrible own goal. But, it's kinda like feeling bad for the kid at the spelling bee who forgets how to spell "kick."

5. Honesty

Dumb questions beget smart answers. Makes me wonder what good my journalism degree will be if these are the kind of questions that make it to air.

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1. Bench Production

Jason Richardson noticed that the Magic only had four players on the court, so came off the bench in the middle of a play to steal the ball from the Celtics' Greg Stiemsma´╗┐ -- and got away with it. I have so many questions: How did Stan Van Gundy not realize his team only had four players on the court? How did the refs not notice? How come none of the players seems to realize that he literally came off the bench?

3. $500,000 For 50 Cent

Sometimes people who really need and deserve it win big money on big game bets, and it's always an uplifting story. And sometimes 50 Cent wins $500,000 and regular Joe's everywhere mourn.

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3. Suggs And Skip Squabble

Skip Bayless tried to put words in Terrell Suggs' mouth during ESPN's First Take on Monday. A frustrated Suggs wasn't having it, and said something that we all wish we could say to Skip on a daily basis.

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2. Ron Paul Batting Stance

Ron Paul doesn't choke up on a bat. It's always go big or go home for him.

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1. Someone Like Vernon Davis and Joe Staley

In anticipation for this weekend's game, an amazing video of Vernon Davis and Joe Staley singing Adele has resurfaced. And good thing it has. Unless you're a Giants fan, it's going to be extremely hard for you to root against the 49ers after watching this video -- especially with Vernon's emotion-laced rendition of the chorus. Excuse me, Mr. E. Manning, we're waitin' on you to showcase your skills on "Rolling In The Deep ..."

2. Niners In Paris

Here comes NFL Championship Weekend ... and here come the accompanying musical parodies. First up: Niners in Paris! (That's right, the mixture of the 49ers and popular music doesn't stop with Davis and Staley's moving rendition of Adele). Aaaand now I'm just going to be singing this all day long. "That Smith Cray!!!!!"

4. Open Casting Call for Kevin Durant's Movie

Ever wanted to be in a movie and/or chill with Kevin Durant? This may just be your lucky day. There are still some roles to be filled in Durant's new movie, including one that involves the dream role of a "Security Guard That Yells At Brian." Start practicing, you guys. This movie sounds awesome, although I'm a bit wary that any basketball movie could ever measure up to the greatness of Space Jam.

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1. His Airness Speaks

As I'm a product of 1990s Chicago, anything MJ gets my attention. An author working on the latest Jordan book tweeted yesterday that Mike acknowledges Kobe Bryant as the only player who "deserves" to be compared to him. I'd say that's worth more than 5 rings, right?

2. How Dare You?

Somebody must be an FSU football fan. Chris Ellis and his wife were doing two things Americans do best: getting drunk and watching football. Unfortunately, Mrs. Ellis slipped up and comment on how "nice" Warren Sapp seemed. Chris proceeded to choke her out Sprewell-style.

3. Dez Flap

Continuing this trend of comical violence, Dez Bryant was detained in Miami over the holiday weekend for what reports are calling "a scuffle." This scuffle is alleged to have been with rapper Lil Wayne, or somebody in the Wayne entourage. I'll put my money on the entourage, because Dez would've squashed Weezy

4. Long Shot

Three-quarters court at the buzzer for the win? High Fives are in order for the ladies of Pekin High School.

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2. Griffin's Latest Victim

Anytime Blake Griffin throws down a monster dunk it's exciting. Especially when it's with his left hand and he gets to posterize the most hated player in the league, Kris Humphries - I still don't quite understand all the Humphries hate.

3. McGee Gets Benched

JaVale McGee was benched after he tossed the ball off the backboard and then slammed it home on a fast break during the Wizards recent loss to the Rockets. I guess coach Flip Saunders doesn't accept showboating like this when the team is 1-12.

4. Congratulations, Ted

It's been about one year since Ted Williams - the homeless man with the golden voice - was saved from the streets, getting a series of jobs, including one with the Cleveland Cavaliers. One year later, he's sober, and no longer homeless or jobless; he has his own condo, a steady job and a steady girlfriend.

5. Overpaid Athletes

A common complaint about sports is that athletes make a ridiculous amount of money, considering they are playing a game. In order to make you feel worse about your own income, here's a list of the 50 worst players who made the most money.

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1. Brady Punts

The magic ended Saturday night, when Tom Brady and the Patriots pulled a Boston massacre on Tim Tebow and the Broncos, with a 45-10 blowout. And to prove just how great he is, Brady didn't just play quarterback; he also took on the role of the punter, with a surprise 48-yard kick on third down with three minutes to go, which frustrated the Broncos and led to a scuffle.

4. The Mets Need Your Help

It's hard to not want to donate your entire paycheck when those animal cruelty commercials come on; you know, the ones with the sad Sarah McLachlan song playing over pictures of abandoned cats and dogs. This version of the commercial, which features pictures of Mets players, doesn't quite evoke the same emotional response.

5. Sumo Judge KO'd

Sumo Wrestling is a violent, dangerous sport. Just ask Judge Shozaburo Kimura, who was knocked out and diagnosed with a concussion.

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