1. Feets-On Training

Prepare to witness the swift, violent end of a budding b-girl's breakdancing career. I don't know how she even stayed conscious after this, so at least she can hang her hat on that.

3. Scholarship Offers ... Take That, Take That

Justin Combs, seed of Diddy, has committed to play football for UCLA. He'll probably ride the bench, unless he's waiting until training camp to shave a couple more tenths off that 40 time. I can't hate too hard, though. He's my size and is doing some serious hitting in his highlight reel.

4. Pick Your Poison

Reliever Jonathan Broxton chose to sign with the Kansas City Royals on Wednesday. Yes, I said chose. I'd choose a kick to the face from a breakdance instructor over a Royals jersey, but not Broxton. The alternative, you ask? Signing with the Mets. Makes sense.

5. UFC: Jersey Shore

This is like the Royal Rumble of women's MMA. No rules, very little clothing and smiling spectators. How do you start a fight and then get whooped?

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1. Hear Suh Roar

Unsurprisingly, Next Media Animation has decided to tackle the Ndamukong Suh situation. And according to NMA, Suh is more than just a dirty player: He also tears the limbs off his opponents' bodies and can roar like a lion.

2. Muppets And Their Matches

If you're anything like me, you've always wondered who Kermit the Frog's athlete counterpart would be considered.Thanks to SportsPickle.com, that fantasy, along with other Muppets' matches, is now a reality.

3. Lucky Bounce

Detroit Titans guard Ray McCallum scored a doozy of a basket in a recent victory against the Austin Peay Governors. As McCallum drove to the basket, he lost his balance and slammed the ball hard into the ground as he fell. The ball bounced up, off the backboard and in, and the Titans ended up winning the game by a single point.

5. Webb's Topless Venture

The RBA (Rick's Basketball Association), a league of topless dancers created by nightclub owners to fill the NBA void, will still play games, despite the return of the NBA. And to prove that the league isn't just some gimmick, the New York team has announced that the 5-7 former slam dunk champion Spud Webb will be their head coach.

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2. Pete's Perfect Foresight

After hearing about Peyton Manning's mysterious neck injury this past summer, a man from California named Pete bet $10 on 1,000-1 odds that the Colts would go winless this season. They say hindsight is 20/20, but in this case it was Pete's foresight that could help him win $10,000.

3. Bryan's Sweet Shot

Bob Bryan hit a stunningly precise, though-the-legs return last week during the ATP World Tour Finals. As the announcer so eloquently puts it, "This is the shot of the tournament."

5. NMA On The End Of The NBA Lockout

The NBA lockout is finally over, and yes, Next Media Animation has made a video cartoonishly explaining the events that led us to this point. Did you really think I could make it through this entire High Five without mentioning that the lockout is finally over?

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1. Tebow Walks

How good/lucky is Tim Tebow? It's only a matter of time before audiences start hearing "Tebow Walks" on Kanye West and Jay-Z's Watch the Throne Tour. Check out this video of what may be to come.

3. Real Life Slap Shot

It turns out there is a "Slap Shot" sequel with Paul Newman and the original cast. It starts at 1:15 of the hockey game in Europe.

4. Trip To Towson

Don't let his title fool you. Even the president is controlled by his wife. Michelle Obama schlepped the First Family to Towson, Md., to watch her brother, Oregon State coach Craig Robinson, take on the Towson Tigers

5. Future Terrible NBA Free Agent Signings

Trust your gut: Shannon Brown has no talent.

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1. Role Reversal

Bryce Harper probably beat up seventh graders when he was in third grade. I just can't ever picture him begging somebody for something. It's tough to even see him asking politely. Unless it's a name drop in a Wale song.

2. Practice Runs

Seeing as my beloved NBA probably won't return this year, Deron Williams made the right choice. Especially considering he can chuck like hell over in Turkey. He put up 50 recently and only one assist.

3. Presidential Unis

God, I love my president. The Obama Classic should be broadcast on every major network. Look out for these jerseys to go on sale, too. I want one.

4. Big Tuna

Fishermen in Massachusetts caught an 881-pound tuna earlier this month. So they basically snagged a bear out of the water. Crazy stuff. I don't know what you do with an animal that size, but my instinct tell me to sell it. And my instincts were, as always, right; a 754­-pound tuna recently sold for nearly $396,000. Great for those guys, right? Wrong. The feds seized the giant fish because the fisherman violated tuna laws: You must catch tuna with a rod or, if you were born in 1847, a harpoon. Tough break, guys.

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1. Tebowing

Musician Ryan Parker has written and recorded a parody of Tom Petty's "Free Fallin," entitled "Tebowing." If you aren't already enamored with Tebow's late-game heroics, you will be after just one listen.

2. A Deal Has Been Reached

Everyone rejoice, a five-year labor deal has been completed! Unfortunately it was for the MLB and not the NBA. Here's what it means.

3. It's Gerry, Not Jerry

The name Jerry Sandusky has forever been soiled by some truly disgusting allegations. Which is unfortunate for Gerry Sandusky, the Baltimore sportscaster whose name is pronounced exactly the same as the accused.

4. Rocky: The Musical

Sylvester Stallone is teaming up with world champion boxing brothers Wladimir and Vitali Klitschko to bring "Rocky" to the Broadway stage. "Rocky: The Musical" will debut in Hamburg, Germany, in German no less, in November 2012.

5. One Game To End It All

Metta World Peace is trying to put an end to the NBA lockout once and for all by challenging Michael Jordan to a game of one-on-one, where the winner's side wins the lockout. As ridiculous as this sounds, you can't doubt that the competitive juices flowing through his Airness' body will want to play this game.

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1. NMA Gets Creepy

Looking for something ridiculously creepy to fill out your day? Try Next Media Animation's video of the Sandusky events, complete with blindfold metaphors, an animated Sandusky approaching a young child in the shower and more. *Shudders*

2. Rondo To Rudy

Happy Day 144 of the NBA lockout! In (mock) celebration, here's a clip of Rajon Rondo head-butting an alley-oop to Rudy Gay in a charity game that we all wish was an actual NBA game.

3. Ballin' For Obama

With the NBA lockout moving into the courts and the next Presidential election less than a year away, it can only mean one thing: Obama fundraiser basketball game! The game will take place on Dec. 12 in Washington and will feature numerous NBA stars, including Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Durant, Ray Allen, Dwight Howard and many more. Let's get this game aired on national television please.

4. Griffin And Simmons Talk Dunking

Blake Griffin recently sat down with Bill Simmons to discuss Griffin's dunk contest slams and to watch home video of a 19-year-old Simmons throwing down mini basketballs on a low hoop. I'd like to point out that we might be missing two of Griffin's first three years in the NBA, first because of an injury and now a lockout. Injustice!

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1. Oh, Lee Corso

Does Lee Corso have a filter? Absolutely not. Cover your ears, kids.

2. Americanized Becks

How did David Beckham celebrate the Los Angeles Galaxy's MLS Cup victory? With none other than a true American lager.

4. Well, This is Awkward

Tiger and Stevie. 'Nough said.

5. Fine's Fine

Jim Boeheim insists Syracuse assistant coach Bernie Fine is innocent of sexual abuse accusations. So much so, he left Fine's chair unoccupied in a Syracuse victory over Colgate.

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1. Astros To The American League

There's been a lot of changing going on in MLB as of late -- name changes Florida, logo changes in Toronto and Baltimore, and now one that actually may have a legitimate impact in Houston -- the Astros are going to the American League. No word yet on whether they, like the Marlins, will be getting widely disputed and really, really ugly uniform makeovers to commemorate the change.

2. Stewart Takes Down Sandusky

A few days ago, Bob Costas conducted an interview with Jerry Sandusky. And thankfully for us, a couple of nights ago, Jon Stewart got to react. And his reaction, complete with a lot of face-palming, is absolutely perfect. There's really nothing I can say to add to this -- Stewart says everything I was thinking, and he says it with just the right balance of humor and absolute, horrified disgust.

3. And In International Logo News...

The newest London (Ontario) baseball team, "The Rippers," unveiled a logo with a creepy looking dude who looks, um, kind of exactly what you would assume Jack The Ripper would look like, if Jack The Ripper decided to throw around a baseball before each of his murders. When the team's president came under scrutiny for it, though, he was well prepared with a completely logical and thought-out counter-argument. "It's not Jack The Ripper. It's a frustrated hockey player who found he could rip the cover off of baseballs!" Ah! Of course. How could we not see that immediately! Thank goodness that's all cleared up.

4. NBA Lockout Not Over, So Players Eat Cinnamon

Dear NBA Players and NBA Owners: Please get your crap together and end the lockout. Otherwise, the most exposure you'll have to NBA players all season long is to watch them do things like stick spoons full of cinnamon down their mouths. In slow motion. With dramatic music playing in the background. So, uh ... how about that Collective Bargaining Agreement??

5. Seinfeld Names Dog After Outgoing Mets Shortstop!

Jose Reyes is most likely on his way out of New York, so what does life-long Mets fan Jerry Seinfeld do as a result? He names his new dog Jose. Because that's what Mets fans do. They willingly surround themselves with reminders of the misery and failures of their favorite team. Here's hoping Jose the pooch doesn't flee the Seinfeld residence for one in, say, Miami.

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1. Sad Sack

If you can get past the NSFW language and the crusty lips, there's some serious comedic gold in this poor Iggles fan's rant. Pretty sure he already has high blood pressure, though, Eagles losses or not.

3. Gridiron Gangstas

Bills wide receiver Naaman Roosevelt and safety Domonic Cook rap. Poorly, but thanks to the Internet that doesn't matter. I'm not sure whether "Grind Hard" is the name of the song or the group, but ... either way.

4. Golasollllllllll

Darlington Nagbe, the second overall pick in the last MLS Draft, buries this ridiculous goal off of a volley. The commentator could've butchered the whole moment, but he actually adds to it. Goal of the year, and name of the year.

5. Sense Of Humor

Life is pretty terrible for anybody involved with the Colts this year. They probably won't win a game. All that sucking, combined with Peyton Manning already being replaced by the media with Andrew Luck, has produced some hilarious results. Namely people rumoring that Peyton could take the newly vacant Ole Miss job. Manning said it best when asked about it: "I'm 0-10 as an assistant with the Colts."

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