1. Best Night Ever, Best Reaction Ever

Here's a video of MLB Network's Harold Reynolds and Dan Plesac going absolutely nuts while watching the insane endings of the Sox and Rays games. Pretty similar to my own reaction, particularly all the spontaneous flailing. If only there was sound, because this looks like they'd be defying even the best Gus Johnson-isms.

2. Blame Buckner

Nate Silver puts together an awesome statistical recap of how it is literally inexplicable that the Red Sox collapsed the way that they did. And when things are inexplicable, just refer to the only logic that still has validity: It's Buckner's Fault. Somewhere, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are reading this and weeping openly.

3. Reyes Wins Bunting Title ... I Mean, Batting Title.

The Mets spoof site "Read The Apple" perfectly sums up Reyes' batting title achievement in a single photo. After bunt-singling his first time up two days ago, Reyes asked to be removed from the game. This left fellow players incredulous (like CJ Wilson, who tweeted the move was "bush-league"), left his manager in some post-game tears, and left Mets fans feeling the way they're always left feeling -- really, really, really depressed, proving as usual that even when the Mets are doing things right, they're never really doing things right.

4. Cheer Up, Boston -- Brady Cut His Hair!!

And now for an update on the other Boston-based team that was brutally embarrassed in its most recent game: Tom Brady finally follows in Bieber’s footsteps and cuts his long, flowing, kind of greasy and gross-lookin’ locks, and said hair tweets about it. Here's a glimpse: BradysHair: "Incredible heartfelt support at candlelight vigil outside Christophe's in LA. Gaga leading throngs in emotional rendition of "Hair."" Stay strong, Boston. I know this is a lot to take right now.

5. And Now For Something Completely Different...

Lutz Eichholz sets a new world record by unicycling across 8.93 meters of beer bottles. Afterwards, he said "I'm happy. The sun is shining. Everything is perfect." Spoiler alert: Lutz Eichholz is not from Boston or Atlanta.

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1. Lil' Blake

Ever since Lil' Penny, the NBA has been in desperate need of a superstar with a miniature puppet counterpart. Unfortunately for Blake Griffin, Lil' Blake is shaping up to be a little less funny and a little more, "frame regular Griffin for murder."

3. One Tweet Says It All

Kevin Durant recently tweeted at Brandon Jennings that he's getting tired of playing in exhibition matches. When the man who dropped 66 points at Rucker Park and then 59 against LeBron last month is tiring of non-NBA basketball, it's time for the lockout to end.

4. Wild Finish For The Wild Card

SB Nation has put together a list of some of the most memorable Game 162's in the history of MLB's wild card era. With four teams battling for the two 2011 wild card spots on the last day of the regular season, I think it's safe to add this year to the list.

5. Ozzie Bleepin' Guillen

In honor of Ozzie Guillen leaving the White Sox for the Marlins, SportsCenter put together a video of memorable Ozzie sound bites. Wait, is this Ozzie Guillen or Ozzy Osbourne? It's tough to tell with all the bleepin' cursing.

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1. Behind The Times

In 1974, the NFL finally moved the goalposts to the back of the end zone because players were running into them and getting hurt. The Canadian Football League never get the memo. Just ask BC Lions defensive back Korey Banks.

2. Ozzie Being Ozzie

Ozzie Guillen recently committed blasphemy. "I work in this job for money," he said, "I don’t work for nothing. Money. That's it. The ring? [Bleep] the ring. I don't even wear my [bleeping] rings. I don't." Not exactly what fans want to hear from their past, current or future manager. Good luck, Marlins.

3. Behind The Podium

Athletes always seem dressed to impress during their televised, post-game interviews. This photo of Michael Vick at a recent press conference ruins the illusion. Sandals and socks?

4. Acrobatic First Pitch

Check out this spectacular first pitch before a recent Hokkaido Nuppon-Ham Fighters game in Japan. To quote Bart Simpson, "I can do that, but I don't wanna."

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1. Lackey In Character

Fact: John Lackey is divorcing his wife. Fact: John Lackey's wife is battling cancer. Fact: John Lackey, by way of pitching for the Boston Red Sox, is famous. I don't understand the frustration, John. This is what you signed up for.

2. NFL Inclusion

Little did everybody know, the NFL's newest CBA includes a ban on discriminating against sexual orientation. There should still be a ban on magazine spreads though. Lookin' at you, Sanchize.

4. Hoops Fix

I'm still in denial about the NBA's likely lost season. So here go some highlights of a lot of dunks and very little defense. Pretty much just like the regular season!

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1. Mardi Grab

When the Saints looked down on New Orleans on Sunday, they gave the home team enough magic to pull out a 40-33 victory ... but Kevin Walter also had enough to make this amazing touchdown catch for Houston.

2. Hot Sauce On Hatteberg

It turns out Art Howe didn't really hate Scott Hatteberg ... and that wasn't the only thing Hollywood did to "put some hot sauce" on Hatteberg's character in "Moneyball."

3. How's The Weather?

Sunday's rain-filled bout between the Panthers and Jaguars has been dubbed the "Monsoon Bowl." Here are five of the worst weather NFL games in history.

5. Go Diego Go

Diego Maradona doesn't coach anymore. He can still kick though ... this time, a fan.

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1. Yankees Think Yankees Are Scrappy Underdogs! Wait, What?

The Yankees clinched the AL East two nights ago. Random Human Who's Uninterested in Baseball says: "Yawn. This is why I'm uninterested in baseball." Red Sox Fans Say: "Expletive deleted! And also, even we knew that despite how wicked awesome we looked in spring training, these dudes would still ruin our lives somehow." Yankees Fans Say: "Okay seriously, this isn’t even exciting for us anymore." Mariano Rivera Says: "It's tremendous, especially because nobody gave us opportunities! Nobody gave us a shot!" Entire Universe Says: "... HUH?"

2. Leaked MLB Logos: One's Awesome, One's ... Not.

Here are the (alleged) new logos for the Blue Jays and the Marlins. One team went the classy old school route with a clear picture of the bird its team is named after against a solid background, with a little shout out to the country that has no other choice but to root for them. The worst team in the NL East went with the "Let's draw a cool (read: not cool) block M plus a Marlin, except our version of a Marlin is a couple of swooshy lines to show some kind of moving blurb, all in essentially the same color scheme as the second worst team in the NL East!" approach. Verdict: Canada wins.

4. Winter Classic 2012 Official Promo

Hockey's back!!! Kind of. At least pre-season is. And since you'll be excited about the beginning of the 29-month season for about 18 seconds before losing interest, here's a really awesome promo for the Winter Classic between the Flyers and Rangers so that you can get re-excited about the NHL four months from now.

5. Turkey Says: No Boys Allowed

In response to recent violent and unruly fan behavior, Turkey decided to ban men from soccer games, instead making it a women-and children-under-12 only environment. The result? Here's what a soccer match with 41,000 people, none of which are grown men, looks -- and sounds -- like. Pretty impressive.

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1. The Walls Are Closing In

According to Mets General Manager Sandy Alderson, Citi Field's outfield walls will be moved in for the 2012 season. Why? Well, in the three years since Citi Field opened its doors, the Mets are one game over .500 at home, compared to 35 over .500 in the three previous years. Also, David Wright has just 53 home runs in the past three seasons compared to 89 in the three years before that. Shall I go on or is this blurb getting a little long?

2. NHL Superheroes

Check out photos and bios for all 30 NHL Superheroes, created by Stan Lee. If I were between the ages of 5 and 10, this would be the coolest thing ever.

3. Durant's Big Break

Kevin Durant's new movie has begun filming and needs extras. And despite what the plot description is telling you, it's not a re-imagining of Space Jam without the Looney Tunes.

4. Flair For The Dramatic

Ric Flair stopped by Fenway Park for an impromptu, motivational visit to the floundering Red Sox. In true Flair fashion, he emphatically introduced the Sox lineup on NESN, and covered up his inability to pronounce some players' names with a few trademark "woo's."

5. Tyson Roasts Sheen

Check out Mike Tyson roasting Charlie Sheen. Tyson may be crazy, but some of his jokes absolutely killed, specifically one about biting off his own ears.

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1. Griffin The Intern

Watch Blake Griffin undergo some intern hazing on his first day at Funny or Die. Griffin and Will Ferrell had some great comedy chemistry, and his future at Funny or Die looks bright. Unfortunately, the future of the next NBA season is still cloudier than ever.

2. Barkley's Way

Charles Barkley belted out some Karaoke at a bar on Long Island recently, while in town for a charity golf tournament. He sang Frank Sinatra's "My Way." Let's just say he's no Frank Sinatra.

3. Head's Up

Giants linebacker Michael Boley scooped up a dropped lateral and rumbled 65 yards into the end zone for a defensive touchdown Monday night against the Rams. He proceeded to celebrate by launching the football directly into the face of a Giants intern.

4. A-Rod's New House

Alex Rodriguez's new South Beach mansion is incredibly huge and cost $24 million. And don't forget, he can only really live here during the off-season, which is less than half of the year. Yeah, his life is better than yours.

5. If A Tree Falls In The Woods

Marlins outfielder Mike Stanton absolutely clobbered a couple of home runs in a recent game against the Atlanta Braves. But if Mike Stanton crushes home runs and nobody's around to see it, did it really happen?

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1. Soapbox Moment

Before I get started, I'd just like to take a moment to point and laugh at everyone who thought Cam Newton couldn't play quarterback at the NFL level. Sure, he's 0-2 and has thrown his share of picks, but he's almost beat two teams (including the champs) by himself. He'll be runaway ROY and a fantasy football darling for the next decade. Enjoy the crow.

2. Too Real


FIFA 2012 will have advanced dive technology.
Finally, the essence of soccer wussification, as Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell might put it, can be captured and taught to millions of American kids.

3. Show 'Em How It's Done

This is what I like to see right here. Veterans in the intoxication game showing us young bucks how to properly shotgun a beer. They probably started on moonshine when they were my age.

4. Grudges Are Eternal

Joe Mauer caught a lot of heat this year in Minnesota from fans. Rightfully so, as the $100 million man couldn't help lead his team to a .500 record. Twinkie Nation was so upset, even mortality couldn't smooth things over.

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4. Metta World Peace: The Why

This guy once attacked a fan.

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