1. Best Night Ever, Best Reaction Ever
Here's a video of MLB Network's Harold Reynolds and Dan Plesac going absolutely nuts while watching the insane endings of the Sox and Rays games. Pretty similar to my own reaction, particularly all the spontaneous flailing. If only there was sound, because this looks like they'd be defying even the best Gus Johnson-isms.
2. Blame Buckner
Nate Silver puts together an awesome statistical recap of how it is literally inexplicable that the Red Sox collapsed the way that they did. And when things are inexplicable, just refer to the only logic that still has validity: It's Buckner's Fault. Somewhere, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are reading this and weeping openly.
3. Reyes Wins Bunting Title ... I Mean, Batting Title.
The Mets spoof site "Read The Apple" perfectly sums up Reyes' batting title achievement in a single photo. After bunt-singling his first time up two days ago, Reyes asked to be removed from the game. This left fellow players incredulous (like CJ Wilson, who tweeted the move was "bush-league"), left his manager in some post-game tears, and left Mets fans feeling the way they're always left feeling -- really, really, really depressed, proving as usual that even when the Mets are doing things right, they're never really doing things right.
4. Cheer Up, Boston -- Brady Cut His Hair!!
And now for an update on the other Boston-based team that was brutally embarrassed in its most recent game: Tom Brady finally follows in Bieber’s footsteps and cuts his long, flowing, kind of greasy and gross-lookin’ locks, and said hair tweets about it. Here's a glimpse: BradysHair: "Incredible heartfelt support at candlelight vigil outside Christophe's in LA. Gaga leading throngs in emotional rendition of "Hair."" Stay strong, Boston. I know this is a lot to take right now.
5. And Now For Something Completely Different...
Lutz Eichholz sets a new world record by unicycling across 8.93 meters of beer bottles. Afterwards, he said "I'm happy. The sun is shining. Everything is perfect." Spoiler alert: Lutz Eichholz is not from Boston or Atlanta.