1. Mr. Cranky Pants

Ryan Harrison, 19, has been labeled as the future of American tennis. However, his demeanor during a first-round loss at the U.S. Open on Monday looked reminiscent of a past American superstar. Actually, more like John McEnroe on steroids.

2. Lord Stanley's New Dent

The Stanley Cup is one of the world's most sacred objects and can only be touched by those select few players who have achieved hockey's ultimate goal. Unfortunately, we can't trust every one of its keepers. Michael Ryder let the trophy tumble off a table in his hometown of St. John's, Newfoundland. Keep in mind the Bruins chose not to sign Ryder after winning the cup ...

4. Summer Of Streetball Continues

LeBron, Carmelo, CP3, Durant and their locked-out NBA friends played in a 149-141 thriller at the Morgan State University Gym in Baltimore. Tickets were sold between $40 and $100. When you start to think finances, could a legitimate streetball league overtake the NBA during a lockout? What would you pay more to watch: A streetball game with the previously mentioned stars or a Timberwolves-Raptors game? And there would be no owners or executives to be paid.

5. PGs On The Mic

Steve Nash as Eminem? Chris Paul as Kanye West? Tony Parker as Jay-Z? See the top 10 NBA point guards matched with their compatible hip-hop artist.

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1. Baldwin And Krasinski Are On Fire

Things are really heating up in the latest installment of New Era commercials featuring Alec Baldwin and John Krasinski. And by heating up I mean this one involves an apartment burning to the ground.

2. Vick Tops The List

To celebrate the release of Madden 12, Complex.com has put together a list of the 50 most dominant Madden characters in the game's history. And since real-life Michael Vick plays football like it's a video game, it's no surprise that his animated likeness tops the list.

4. Delicious But Deadly

An entire pizza was ruined when South Carolina backup quarterback Andrew Clifford crashed his moped and was knocked unconscious. In other news, Clifford will be out a few weeks with injuries resulting from the crash.

5. Ouch

Check out this monstrous, Madden Hit Stick-style hit in a recent high school football game. Is that defender a real person or just a flimsy doll?

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1. Roll Tide

This is not a museum of Alabama football. This is not Hell on Earth for Auburn fans (actually, it probably is). This is Vince Gilham's man cave and you must bow down. Vince won The Birmingham News' Ultimate Man Cave contest - I don't know either - and for good reason.

2. Pumped Up

Somebody out there has had to have always aspired to fist pump like Lleyton Hewitt. Somebody. Look at that extension. Kudos to ESPN for a creative post on tennis celebrations.

3. Bye Bye Week

While the rest of the Bengals spend their off week 7 cursing Carson Palmer from the comfort of their homes, Cedric Benson will be in a cell. Money really does make the world go 'round. I'm going to try to schedule my jail time during days off next time I punch a bouncer in the face.

4. Streaking Shock

None of the Tulsa Shock is getting naked. At least not for me. But celebration is in order for the ladies of Oklahoma's WNBA squad after they've ended their 20-game losing streak with a pair of W's. Now they'll at least make the WNBA lottery interesting. *Aside* Do they rig that one too?

5. Mind Games

Chester Taylor is part of a crowded Bears backfield and, despite making like $7 million last year, his release wouldn't be a shocker. Shocking is the fact that Jerry Angelo and the rest of the management wants to mess around with Taylor for a little before they cut him loose.

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1. Provo Proposal

Sorry, female fans of Jimmer Nation. He's off the market. Fredette proposed to girlfriend Whitney Wonnacott, a senior cheerleader at BYU, on Friday night. It must be nice to be a senior in college with a rock on your finger from an NBA point guard. Also, the announcement ironically came on the same day that Brandon Davies was reinstated into the BYU basketball program after his sexual actions last winter.

2. Captain's Coping

While one relationship reaches a turning point, another comes to an end. Derek Jeter and actress Minka Kelly publicly announced their split after three years. The good news for the Yankees: Jeter's relationship problems obviously aren't affecting his play, as he's been hitting better in the past month than he had for the past two years. Add Kelly to Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, and the other women of The Captain's past.

3. Making The Jump

This past week, everyone's been wondering the same thing. Do any of the kids from the Little League World Series actually make it to the Major Leagues? Well, here's ten of them. No, Chris Drury is not on the list.

4. Leaving For The Hurricane

Bobby Valentine is the Public Safety Director of Stamford, Connecticut. Bobby Valentine also works as a commentator for ESPN on Sunday Night Baseball. Commentating over hurricane protection?

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1. All The Samberg That's Fit To Print

With the U.S. Open right around the corner, the New York Times Magazine has published a lengthy piece about tennis rivalries. The piece also includes iconic photos of some of tennis' greatest players -- or does it? Turns out that is not John McEnroe or Bjorn Borg in those photos: It's comedian Andy Samberg, very accurately depicting some of the sport's best rivalries. I think Samberg can do a better Andre Agassi than Andre Agassi.

2. Supporting Nationals Not Allowed At Nationals Park

A fan at a Nationals game caught a home run by the opposing team, and proceeded to throw it back, drawing cheers from other Nats fans. Turns out you can't do that. The Nationals have a rule against throwing the ball back after a home run, prompting ushers to remove the fan from his seat. Nationals Park ain't exactly Wrigley quite yet.

4. Haley Sees Weezy

Can you imagine an NFL head coach at a Lil Wayne concert? Todd Haley of the Chiefs made that vision a reality when he attended Weezy's show this past Monday night. Since Lil Wayne is a Packers fan, can we get Green Bay coach Mike McCarthy to attend a show?

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1. Abstinence All-Stars

NBA news is hard to come by nowadays, and that's hurt me dearly. So I couldn't pass up this virginal rap banger from David Robinson, A.C. Green and Barry Sanders. You couldn't make this up.

2. If A Game Happens And Nobody Sees It ...

Did the game really happen? That's the question I'd be asking if not for this snapshot of the Reds-Marlins doubleheader.

3. Phillipian Slip

Fulham defender Philippe Senderos may be embarrassed, but I'm comforted to know that even the British have a dirty sense of humor. On live TV at that. The Admiral is in the audience, shaking his head softly in disapproval.

4. Good Sport

While I refuse to call him by his Spanglish last name, Chad (formerly Johnson) is one of my favorite athletes. He has fun, goes across the middle more than Frogger, and does things like this. That huge hit he took from a Bucs rookie safety recently? He promised to pay the kid's fine if the league dinged him, which it did Wednesday for $20K. Chad says he is keeping his promise.

5. Dream Shatterer

Hakeem Olajuwon is my favorite center ever. Just an incredible player -- he's Top 5 all-time in steals. No, really. My lasting image is of him Dream Shaking his way to some titles during the Jordan void. The Dream lost a Finals that nobody talks about though. It was to the '86 Celtics, but an L is an L, Hakeem.

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1. Seeing Star(lin)s

Superstar 21-year-old Cubbie Starlin Castro still has a lot to learn at the Big League level. One very important skill: Paying attention.

2. Coach Luke

Most NBA players are looking for jobs as players during the pending lockout. Luke Walton plans on coaching to stay in shape (Would he have gotten off the bench anyway on a European team?At least now he has to stand up to shout at players.)

3. The Big Shadow Of Big Z

It looked like Cleveland could finally move past the LeBron James saga. First overall pick Kyrie Irving had the town buzzing and preparing to buy his No. 11 jersey. That was until the Cavaliers franchise reportedly announced its intention to retire the No. 11 jersey worn by Zydrunas Ilgauskas for 14 seasons. The same Ilgauskas that left Cleveland to play his final NBA season with LeBron in Miami.

4. 50 Most Overrated Players In World Football

With the 2011-12 soccer season underway, read up on the top 50 most overrated "footballers" in the world. Yes, David Beckham did indeed make the list.

5. Hold the Phone

Check out this one-handed grab at the :17 mark by a fan on the phone during the Little League World Series. ESPN overlooks the ridiculous catch on the Yonny Hernandez home run for Venezuela.

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1. What A Catch

Even when they bring their mitts to the stadium, many fans fail to catch foul balls hit right at them. This Braves fan, however, restored a little of my faith in fan fielders with a leaping one-handed snag for the ages.

2. Under Arrest

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll pulled an Ashton Kutcher when he had police officers come in during a team meeting and "arrest" defensive end Raheem Brock for allegedly not paying a $3,000 hotel bill. Once the officers had led Brock out of the room, Carroll admitted the prank to the rest of the team who showered Brock with laughter upon his embarrassing return a few seconds later.

3. Lights, Camera, Action!

Kevin Durant is following in the footsteps of NBA greats like Michael Jordan, Ray Allen and Shaquille O'Neal, and not just by his performance on the basketball court. According to The Oklahoman, Durant is in talks to star in a film that's scheduled to start shooting in September. Let's hope it's more "He Got Game" and less "Kazaam.

4. Talk About Using Your Head

With runners on first and second in a minor league matchup between the Nashville Sounds and the Omaha Storm Chasers, Sounds centerfielder Logan Schafer started a triple play by literally using his head. A pop-up bounced off his head in true Jose Canseco style, but instead of ricocheting over the wall for a home run it landed in his glove. He proceeded to throw the ball back to the infield as the base runners tried to scramble back to their bases to no avail.

5. Caned

Next Media Animation in Taiwan continues to stay up to date on American scandals. Here's its take on what happened at the University of Miami.

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1. Following Ochocinco

Chad Ochocinco doesn't like rules. When Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Mason Foster was given a penalty for a blind hit on Ochocinco, the receiver commended the linebacker and promised to reimburse any fine handed to Foster via Twitter. The NFL saw the public reply and plan on managing Ochocinco's money.

2. Big Trouble At The Little League World Series

So much for being the "Little" League World Series. Local favorite Keystone, Pennsylvania, has been drawing so many fans to Williamsport that law enforcement officials pushed for its game today to be played in prime time. Keystone has already drawn crowds of 41,000 and 33,000 in its two games. It takes the Florida Marlins more than a week to rival those totals.

3. Lockout Detour

Yes, there is a lockout going on in the NBA, but it only involves NBA teams. The lockout couldn't stop a group of NBA stars such as Kevin Durant, John Wall, Brandon Jennings, DeMarcus Cousins and JaVale McGee from the Drew and Goodman Leagues of Washington D.C. and Los Angeles from battling in a high-powered showdown at Washington's Trinity University. Here are the highlights:

4. Francesa Gets Iced

New York sports personality Mike Francesa likes that his radio show is televised on the YES Network. What he doesn't like is that the cameras catch him snacking on ice cream during a break.

5. Naughty NASCAR

Don't think NASCAR's a weird sport? Watch as Steve Wallace gets his hair pulled by a crew member of an opposing driver. Also, try to catch the name of the sixth-place finisher shown at the 1:02 mark.

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3. Not A Toy

Sporting Kansas City Goalkeeper Jimmy Nielsen was struck in the face by a bobblehead thrown from the stands in a match against the Portland Timbers. It was Omar Bravo bobblehead night, so technically Nielsen was left bloodied on the ground by his own teammate.

4. Psych!

The NBA has released its pre-season schedule. Unfortunately, none of these games will be played since we're in a lockout so kindly forget this schedule ever existed.

5. Kobe The Angel

Remember how Kobe Bryant was allegedly involved in a scuffle with a man snapping pictures of him in church? TMZ is reporting that witnesses claim that the they've never even heard of the accuser, that his story is entirely made up, and that Kobe is nothing but an angel at church.

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