1. Zim Bear

Good news, Tampa Bay Rays fans! This year, one of the game giveaways is something called Zim Bear, a teddy bear with Don Zimmer’s face on it! Isn't that totally cool and cuddly and not at all creepy or disturbing?! But seriously: Try to stare at that thing for more than four seconds and not run out of your room screaming in terror.

2. Smells Like A Yankee

Ever wanted to smell like a mixture of crap-tons of money and a universally despised sports organization? Fret not. All of your dreams have come true. Because His-and-Hers Yankees fragrances now exist. Seriously.

3. The Official Spring Training Exercise DVD!

Put away that Jillian Michaels DVD, this is the real deal. Learn how to train like major league baseball players do at spring training! This intensive 14-minute DVD involves skipping, moving your arms around, lifting your legs in the air, and more really, really difficult routines that'll get you ready for the spring in no time! Man, I can't believe Zim Bears and Yankees perfume are real things, but this gem is fake.

4. Mets: Next New York Cinderella Story?

The underdog New York Giants won the Super Bowl this year. The reeling Knicks were doing horribly until Jeremy Lin came along and took the world by storm. So, it's only logical that the bad-and-broke New York Mets will be the next feel-good-story for the Big City, right? Maybe there's a Jeremy Lin on the horizon?? What say you, R.A. Dickey? "The thing with us is I think it's gonna take three or four Jeremy Lins." And also, money. But other than that, they're right there, you guys.

5. #MetsHashtags

My new favorite person on the planet is the dude who goes by @JedSmed on Twitter, a huge Mets fan who tries to keep his team relevant by tweeting hilariously amazing Mets hashtags every day and getting fellow fans to contribute to the creativity. Thanks to Jed, the Mets have been a trending topic on Twitter nearly every day, which definitely wouldn't happen unless wit and humor were involved. The most recent topic of note? #MetsBeatlesSongs. "I've Just Seen Last Place," "Twist & Out For The Year," "Love Me Duda," and "I Wanna Boot Your Foot."

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