1. Theo's To-Do-List:

Alleviate Boston of 86 years of misery and depression? Check! Alleviate Chicago of 103 years of misery, depression, billy goats, black cats and Steve Bartman? Uhh ... may the Force be with you, Theo.

2. The X's And O's Of Sausage Racing

All you that you never needed to know about the epic Brewers Sausage Race, including some of "the basic rules of racing meat." No word on whether a Tofu-Sausage costume is available for potential vegetarian racers.

5. Courageous And Epic Act Of The Day

So in case you missed it, a few days ago, a guy from California threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods. When asked about his actions, Brandon Kelly gives the best explanation of all time: "I threw the hot dog toward Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie 'Drive." As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, 'I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.'" They should make a movie about this guy.

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