1. The Wrong Foot

USA Soccer hasn't won a game under new coach Jurgen Klinsmann, which makes a lot of sense since they've only scored one goal in those three games. There are no riots in the streets, though. So that's good. And further proof that nobody here cares about soccer.

2. Centerfold Controversy

The Sanchize is all over the place, and Aaron Rodgers disapproves. Green Bay's QB pretty much made fun of Mark Sanchez for his GQ spread; "embarrassing" was his word of choice. To each his own. NYC likes QBs specializing in modeling. Wisconsin prefers QBs that specialize in touchdowns.

3. Catch That Mermaid

Being famous would suck. And John Mayberry Jr. isn't even famous. Yet, his efforts to get his agent to invite "Pirates of the Caribbean" mermaid Antoinette Nikprelaj to a Phillies games end up in the New York Post. She's married with a kid, in case you were wondering.

4. RIP 3D?

ESPN might be finally realizing that 3D television is as well-built for the long run as General Motors is. According to one analyst, its 3D channel won't be around for much more since, well, nobody watches it.

5. Overdrive

I've never seen former Browns RB Chris Jennings play football. He could slap me across the face and I wouldn't know who he is (or why he slapped my face). Tired of toiling in obscurity, Chris took his Beamer out and kicked it into hyperdrive. He was arrested for doing 147 mph. He was in Ohio, not on the Autobahn. That'd be 80 over the limit and a felony charge. Clearly a cry for attention.

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