1. Yankees Think Yankees Are Scrappy Underdogs! Wait, What?
The Yankees clinched the AL East two nights ago. Random Human Who's Uninterested in Baseball says: "Yawn. This is why I'm uninterested in baseball." Red Sox Fans Say: "Expletive deleted! And also, even we knew that despite how wicked awesome we looked in spring training, these dudes would still ruin our lives somehow." Yankees Fans Say: "Okay seriously, this isn’t even exciting for us anymore." Mariano Rivera Says: "It's tremendous, especially because nobody gave us opportunities! Nobody gave us a shot!" Entire Universe Says: "... HUH?"
2. Leaked MLB Logos: One's Awesome, One's ... Not.
Here are the (alleged) new logos for the Blue Jays and the Marlins. One team went the classy old school route with a clear picture of the bird its team is named after against a solid background, with a little shout out to the country that has no other choice but to root for them. The worst team in the NL East went with the "Let's draw a cool (read: not cool) block M plus a Marlin, except our version of a Marlin is a couple of swooshy lines to show some kind of moving blurb, all in essentially the same color scheme as the second worst team in the NL East!" approach. Verdict: Canada wins.
3. Ozzie Guillen Talks Cheeseburgers And Hotness
Ozzie Guillen talks about what he's learned, and from reading it, we can all learn that we really need to devote more of our time to making sure that every day we become a little bit more like Ozzie Guillen. Because remember: He sees everything.
4. Winter Classic 2012 Official Promo
Hockey's back!!! Kind of. At least pre-season is. And since you'll be excited about the beginning of the 29-month season for about 18 seconds before losing interest, here's a really awesome promo for the Winter Classic between the Flyers and Rangers so that you can get re-excited about the NHL four months from now.
5. Turkey Says: No Boys Allowed
In response to recent violent and unruly fan behavior, Turkey decided to ban men from soccer games, instead making it a women-and children-under-12 only environment. The result? Here's what a soccer match with 41,000 people, none of which are grown men, looks -- and sounds -- like. Pretty impressive.
'Trick Shot Titus' Strikes Again