1. Ochocinco’s Lockout Plans: Fútbol

The NFL’s 2011 season may be in jeopardy, and Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco wants to play football no matter what happens. But if the lockout does persist, he isn’t planning on playing American football in the Arena League or UFL. He’s trying out for Kansas City Sporting of Major League Soccer. And for once, Ochocinco appears to be serious.

2. Young Hasselbeck, Aspiring Bracketologist

Throw out your own March Madness bracket formula, because Matt Hasselbeck’s 5-year-old son has figured it out. Henry Hasselbeck chose teams to advance based on their mascot (Spiders or Commodores in the first round? Spiders of course!), and after 28 games he ranked No. 103 on ESPN.com. Out of 5.9 million.

4. We Are All Witnesses To ... Aerobics

LeBron dancing in an aerobics class: Does anything else need to be said? On the Ellen Degeneres Show, the Miami Heat star surprised one of Ellen’s writers, who is apparently a big LeBron fan (bandwagon, anyone?), in her aerobics class. Then, he took his talents to the class and danced awkwardly with the girls.

5. Pedro Enshrined

The most recent addition to the National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C.? Former MLB ace Pedro Martinez, of course! The gallery becomes the most recent organization to acquire the pitcher (or, in this case, his portrait), who still has not retired. I hear the Portrait Gallery’s softball team could use an extra arm.