1. Long-distance connection

Here’s UW-Green Bay’s Eric Valentin setting the illustrious “most half-court shots in a minute” record. It takes a lot of strength to get eight shots on the rim from that deep, let alone sink ‘em. Congrats to Eric. Once they institute the five-point shot, he’ll be on the fast track to the Association.

2. Benevolent beatdown

This story pops up every few years. Good girls hoops team + Terrible girls hoops team = Wishy-washy apologies for poor sportsmanship. Christian Heritage (Utah) put a 105-point beatdown on West Ridge Academy a few days ago, and the Heritage coach had some 'splaining to do. Some people may say it isn’t very “Christian” to beat an opponent by a hundred, but I disagree. If Jesus played ball, he’d win by those margins all the time. Who’s gonna check Jesus?

3. Remembering Jack LaLanne

Rest in peace to the king of fitness. He passed Sunday at a youthful 96. Really can’t understate how influential he was; truly the father of the home fitness movement. Without him, things like the Shake Weight would be merely another Bagel-Bites-stained blueprint on a living room floor somewhere.

4. Glass completely full

John Wall should really thank that home-court glass after this winner over Boston. I can only imagine what Rajon Rondo was saying after seeing the ball go in and not hearing a “bank!” Probably something else with four letters.