1. Long-distance connection
Here’s UW-Green Bay’s Eric Valentin setting the illustrious “most half-court shots in a minute” record. It takes a lot of strength to get eight shots on the rim from that deep, let alone sink ‘em. Congrats to Eric. Once they institute the five-point shot, he’ll be on the fast track to the Association.
2. Benevolent beatdown
This story pops up every few years. Good girls hoops team + Terrible girls hoops team = Wishy-washy apologies for poor sportsmanship. Christian Heritage (Utah) put a 105-point beatdown on West Ridge Academy a few days ago, and the Heritage coach had some 'splaining to do. Some people may say it isn’t very “Christian” to beat an opponent by a hundred, but I disagree. If Jesus played ball, he’d win by those margins all the time. Who’s gonna check Jesus?
3. Remembering Jack LaLanne
Rest in peace to the king of fitness. He passed Sunday at a youthful 96. Really can’t understate how influential he was; truly the father of the home fitness movement. Without him, things like the Shake Weight would be merely another Bagel-Bites-stained blueprint on a living room floor somewhere.
4. Glass completely full
John Wall should really thank that home-court glass after this winner over Boston. I can only imagine what Rajon Rondo was saying after seeing the ball go in and not hearing a “bank!” Probably something else with four letters.
5. Jay Cutler’s MCL
Like everybody else in the 773, I insulted Cutler in every way –- short of talking about his momma –- when he didn’t come back on the field in the NFC title game because “he was banged up.” Those were Joe Buck’s words, not mine. “Banged up” has no place on a playoff injury report, but Jay was a little more than banged up. I wish the Bears had just made his MCL sprain public as soon as the team doctors discovered it -- would've saved Cutler from the evisceration he got on Twitter. Unless the docs didn’t know it was a sprain until Monday, and in that case they should be fired.