Nobody tells James Dolan what to do. Nobody. You tell the New York Knicks owner to recognize his roster isn't equipped to win an NBA title, he won't. You tell him to think twice about enlisting Isiah Thomas as an adviser when Thomas is best-known to Knicks fans as a terrible decision-maker, he won't.
You tell Dolan no one wants to hear his crappy band play music? He pulls out a kazoo on live television.
Dolan and his band, J.D. and the Straight Shot, were Tuesday's musical guests for WNYW's morning talk show, Good Day New York. The band played a few blues tunes that were completely overshadowed by Dolan's decision to whip out his kazoo mid-song:
The performance was so memorable that host Rosanna Scotto could not, for the life of her, recall the band's name.
Perhaps we can all thank Phil Jackson for taking on the brunt of decision-making within the Knicks organization, thus allowing Dolan to chase his dreams of becoming a blues musician. Though, to be fire, Dolan wasn't any more distracted last December, playing a concert just hours after the Knicks dumpster fire was stoked by a 31-point loss to San Antonio.
Dolan had previously said he plans to involve himself less in the Knicks' day-to-day affairs, and it appears "J.D. and the Straight Shot" is the ugly by-product. Unfortunately, as Knicks fans know too well, the pain of too much Dolan won't easily be alleviated: Mr. Dolan has booked a gig for his band to open for the Eagles at Madison Square Garden.
While the blues does seem like an appropriate music genre for a man New Yorkers associate with frustration and resigned disappointment, I'm pretty sure Christopher Walken's fever wasn't cured by a prescription for more kazoo.
They tried that sketch, but it got cut in dress rehearsal.