Apparently that Suck For Luck campaign is taking off in South Florida.
As fans of lousy NFL teams around the country attempt to position themselves to be as terrible as possible for a shot at Stanford QB Andrew Luck with the No. 1 pick in April's NFL Draft, things are getting odd in Miami.
Coach Tony Sparano has placed his South Florida home on the market, leading to the obvious conclusion that he's going to be whacked like a character from that old HBO drama he's so often confused with.
Sparano tells the Miami Herald his real estate decision is more about location, location, location than the doom and gloom of his job status. The Dolphins coach says he's really just looking to be closer to the water. But that seems about credible as going for it on 4th and 16 just to draw the defense offsides.
"When I moved into my house, I had seven people," the coach told the Herald. "My daughter just moved out two weeks ago to go to college in Texas. I have zero people, nobody upstairs. And where do I love to be? Besides here? The beach. We are empty-nesters, as we speak."
Miami sports radio station 790 The Ticket's Jorge Sedano reported Sparano wants $1.4999 million for his Davie, Fla. mansion. The home is located in an affluent neighborhood, featuring five bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen, a state of the art theatre room, a lakefront pool and a built-in generator. What more could a troubled NFL coach want?
While the Dolphins are floundering, Sparano is probably best known for his trademark sunglasses on the sidelines. As a teenager working at a restaurant in Connecticut, hot grease splashed into his eyes, and he lost his vision from the accident for two weeks. All these years later, his eyes are still extremely sensitive to light. So that's why you see the Dolphins coach wearing sunglasses indoors or even at night. The New York Times reported that the he works in the dark; the lights are almost always off in his office.
Sparano, the only NFL head to coach to lead a one-win team to the playoffs the following season, has a 25-29 career record with the Fins.
With an 0-6 record this season, the Dolphins need to swim into some holy water for Sparano to keep his gig.
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