Welcome to The Dish. I hope you came for some laughs, because there are at least three or four of them in here. What is The Dish, you ask? Look at you being all curious. The Dish is a celebrity/sports gossip column that makes fun of stars and athletes. Why, you ask? We make fun of them because they have millions of dollars and make really stupid decisions. That's why.

Let's do this.

Noted female rights pioneer Jenn Sterger will be hosting a March Madness event in Chicago on March 17. Sterger will pose for pictures and sign autographs. Whatever you do, DO NOT SEND her a copy of the picture you took with her. She gets really bothered about getting pictures sent to her phone. ALLEGEDLY.

Troy Aikman and his wife of 10 years are getting a divorce . I think we all know what caused this. I mean, the sexual chemistry between Aikman and Hulk Hogan in those Rent-A-Center commercials is just electric. Looks like The Hulkster has ruined another marriage.

In European-based gossip, an unnamed star of the English Premier League is allegedly being blackmailed with pictures and video of a "sexual tryst" with three Swedish blondes at a Las Vegas hotel. The player does not want these images being leaked to the press, reportedly to protect his clean-cut image.

I think it's safe to say that, if true, this is the only guy who would EVER try to keep these pictures under wraps. If I were this guy, I would have my jersey made entirely out of the pictures. I would force random people in stores to watch the video. It would probably play on a loop at my funeral. This guy has accomplished things that porn movies haven't even come up with yet. Charlie Sheen is probably jealous.

In news that wouldn’t surprise anyone, "The Bachelor" star Michelle Money has admitted to having an affair with NBA star Carlos Boozer while he was married. Quite frankly, I don't know how a prestigious franchise like "The Bachelor" is going to rebound from this news. That show is all about true love, and here we have one of its participants copping to infidelity. It's got to be quite a blow to the shows age-old view on love: Boy wants love, goes on TV show, picks from 30 random women that clearly love him and want nothing to do with fame and being a TV star, picks girl that "truly understands him," breaks up three months later.

Bravo's hit show "The Real Housewives" will be filming its latest installment in LeBron's talent-laden home of Miami. The cast features a cross-dresser who is close friends with Dennis Rodman and Scottie Pippen's wife, Larsa. Naturally, Larsa will ride the coattails of other housewives and then stick around for years desperately trying to get someone to sign her to a deal. In other words, nothing at all like her husband.

So there you go. The first installment of The Dish. We had a great time and made some great friends. Come back for more every week, because we all need a safe place to make fun of people that could sue me into oblivion. Goodbye!