Baseball season charges out of the gate every year in the same way: fast starts, early conclusions and lots of weather postponements. About 200 games have already been played, which means there's plenty to review in case you were busy watching The Masters or discussing Kate Middleton's fashion sense. But instead of the typical laborious recap, here are all the opening month highlights in a style everyone's familiar with -- an MLB Facebook news feed.
Albert Pujols and St. Louis Cardinals changed their status from "In a relationship" to "It's complicated."
Johnny Damon updated his status: "Seriously? NO ONE else is interested?"
Zack Greinke was "Shooting Hoops" at 24 Hour Fitness.
Zack Greinke is at Milwaukee General Hospital.
Jayson Werth added "Piles of cash" to his interests.
Tim Lincecum likes "SF Giants: 2010 Champs," "Dude, Where's My Car?" and "Pineapple Express." (Manny Ramirez likes this.)
Texas Rangers wrote on Boston Red Sox wall: "Come back to Texas anytime! We had a blast(s)!"
Logan Morrison likes Twitter.
Chicago Cubs wrote on Albert Pujols' wall: "Heeeeeeyyyyyy! Like Us On Facebook!"
Houston Astros changed their employer from "Drayton McLane" to "Someone who will mind their own business, hopefully."
Adam Wainwright, Joel Zumaya and Pedro Feliciano are now friends with Dr. James Andrews.
Murray Chass and 0 other users created the group "Stan Musial was a racist."
Joe Posnanski commented on Murray Chass' group: "You have GOT to be kidding me."
Boston Red Sox added "Losing to keep things interesting" to their activities.
Felix Hernandez is now friends with Larry Bernandez. (Manny Ramirez likes this.)
New York Mets invited you to the event "Join the Ownership Group! Please?"
Buck Showalter wrote "Don't act like you're not impressed" on New York Yankees’ wall.
Boston Red Sox added "Seriously, we just wanted to give everyone a head start to be fair" to their activities.
Fredi Gonzalez created a poll question: "It doesn't matter where I bat Heyward, does it?"
Ozzie Guillen wrote on Bobby Jenks' wall: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" (Manny Ramirez likes this.)
Troy Tulowitzki tagged Chris Capuano, Bobby Parnell, Jonathan Niese, Paul Maholm, Blake Hawksworth and Clayton Kershaw in the note "Thanks for grooving one."
Baseball Writers Association added "Hyperbole" to its religious beliefs. (Manny Ramirez likes this.)
Three commercials are now friends with Brian Wilson's beard.
Josh Johnson added "Near no-hitters" to his activities.
Josh Hamilton wrote on Dave Anderson's wall: "Sorry I was a jerk. I feel like a big dummy. We cool?" (Manny Ramirez likes this.)
Manny Ramirez is "Chillin" at "joo mama's house." (Manny Ramirez likes this.)
Ozzie Guillen updated his status: "Big game for us continue to play hard thas all not to woorie about crap."
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