Major League Soccer is at it again.

In 2007, they tried to increase the sport’s popularity in the U.S. by importing David Beckham. Battling through injuries, Becks wowed the fans with his ability to “bend it” in about a half dozen games that season. His presence made such an impact that the L.A. Galaxy doesn’t even need him anymore, so he’s been on loan to Milan for the past two years.

But the league went to its big guns this week. If there’s one thing that America likes more than dreamy Euro-hunks, it’s cake. That’s why MLS had Charm City Cakes (the bakers from Food Network’s Ace of Cakes) create a soccer-themed cake for the MLS Draft at the Baltimore Convention Center on Thursday.

I’m sure there were more than a few people who showed up for the 30-pound confection and were disappointed to learn that a soccer draft was taking place. After all, your average American can name more types of cake than they can professional soccer players.

Credit to MLS for the clever ploy, but something tells me NBA Commissioner David Stern won’t be conducting a Throw Down with Bobby Flay at this summer’s NBA Draft. I doubt Roger Goodell will tap Mario Batali to create Cam Newton’s likeness out of ravioli this April. The NHL could definitely use a boost in the fan department, but you won’t see Sidney Crosby and Alexander Ovechkin battle on Iron Chef America.

As far as I can tell, outside of the cake, the most exciting thing to happen yesterday was that a guy whose last name is Kitchen was taken third. I’m sure he’s a fantastic soccer player, but with a name like Perry Kitchen, I believe he missed his calling.

I’ll leave you with one last question: Since soccer players aren’t allowed to use their hands, how did they eat the cake?

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