Seattle Seahawks punter Jon Ryan isn't asking for that much, really. It's just that, well, the entree selection on his chartered Delta flight could be more diverse, and did you notice that the Baltimore Orioles got sushi as a pre-departure snack?
And I mean, come on: Everyone knows a teriyaki-glazed salmon filet tops chicken breast with hoisin sauce any day.
These are the hardships Mr. Ryan faces on a regular basis as he jet-sets across the country to kick footballs high into the air to the satisfaction of millions. It's normal to be suspicious, even distrustful, of the service received on planes anymore, but rarely do we stumble upon the cold, hard evidence that Mr. Ryan has unearthed.
On the team's flight back home after a win over the Redskins on Monday Night Football, Mr. Ryan found a leftover menu from a chartered flight for baseball's Baltimore Orioles one day earlier. The shoddy maid-service was an insult on its own, but then Mr. Ryan reviewed the menu selection and noticed the two teams were given different options:
Well well well Delta I can't help but notice that the Orioles menu looked better than ours today. I'll remember this. pic.twitter.com/3wszqY1Y29
— Jon Ryan (@JonRyan9) October 7, 2014
But then again, perhaps the punter should take a closer look and see that the menu differences don't necessarily benefit the Orioles. Seattle, for example, was given the option of a burger as a pre-flight snack; Baltimore wasn't.
The Seahawks' menu also explicitly offers vegetarian options, which is thoughtful. That menu also features a much more developed and impressive snack menu, which is critical if you exercise poor judgment in your entree selection.
And if we're judging things solely off the menu selection, the Orioles were denied a beverage section. That's just rude.
Next time we're flying coach between two phlegm-hacking seatmates that have stolen our armrests on either side, we'll flag down the flight attendant and file a formal complaint on your behalf.
Because you, Mr. Ryan, deserve better.