Archive for November 9th, 2007

09
Nov

Erin Andrews eats a sandwich

By thepostgame 0 Comments
Categories: NCAA Football and Uncategorized

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Here’s Erin Andrews with her mouth wide open and tongue stuck out, because I’ve dedicated myself to bringing you the best in three-week-old non-news items that don’t really deal with sports but make me feel better because I managed to correctly operate a keyboard while under the influence of massive quantities of Red Bull and Chinese opium.Martha Stewart’s tip of the day: Chinese opium makes a great hors d’oeuvre for your next elegant party. Sprinkle with panda tears for extra flavor.

Erin did a recent interview with SI.com’s Extra Mustard, which was disappointingly boring. She revealed such gems about herself as her recent music purchases (Britney Spears - seriously), her favorite TV show (”The Hills” and other reality television), and her favorite reading (”People” magazine, which is to literature what beefaroni is to fine dining).

Say it ain’t so, Erin. My sexual attraction to you has been diminished slightly, which I know breaks your heart.

Oh, Erin, I can’t stay mad at you. Let’s never fight again. Come over to my house tonight and I’ll say I’m sorry the naughty way.


^ Brent Musburger ♥’s Erin Andrews

09
Nov

Baseball possibly to join 21st century, use instant replay

By thepostgame 0 Comments
Categories: MLB

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Baseball general managers have overwhemingly voted to recommend the use of limited instant replay to assist umpires with disputed calls on the field.

ESPN.com reports,

The proposal, approved by a 25-5 vote, was limited to boundary calls — whether potential home runs are fair or foul, whether balls go over fences or hit the tops and bounce back, and whether fans interfere with possible homers.

Instant replay in some form is already available in college and NFL football, the NBA, the NHL, and grand slam tennis matches, but opponents have commented that it would likely slow down already glacially-paced major league games and ruin the “tradition” of America’s pastime.

I’m pretty sure that in 43 years, all sports will just be robots playing other robots, with robot umpires and robot concession vendors, so we may as well embrace technology now. Humans cannot compete with robots, think about it: John Henry vs. a steam-powered hammer, Gary Kasparov vs. Deep Blue, the crew of the Discovery One vs. HAL 9000, and Bobby Riggs vs. Billie Jean King.

Oh, you believe that humans are superior to machines and that we will never be overrun by our own technology? Ha, do you also believe in Santa Claus and unicorns and socialized medicine? Fool.

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^ Your new boss

09
Nov

Mike Golic admits to using steroids

By thepostgame 0 Comments
Categories: NFL

Mike Golic, retired NFL defensive lineman and current radio personality on ESPN’s “Mike and Mike in the Morning” show, admitted yesterday that he briefly used steroids during his pro career while recovering from a knee injury. In related news, his diminutive co-host Mike Greenberg confessed he once took three aspirin instead of the recommended two, necessitating emergency defibrillation.

Mike Golic doesn’t own any NFL records, he retired 14 years ago, and he’s more famousHe’s not really “Al Michaels” famous, he’s more like “local weatherman” famous for his broadcasting career than his football career, so my response to this earth-shattering news is an emphatic “So what?” He played in the 80’s, and you KNOW some crazy shit went down in that decade.

That was the era of Cabbage Patch Kids, “The Karate Kid”, Duran Duran, and Frogger; you can’t tell me those weren’t the result of some serious drug use. Hell, all of the other NFL players were probably snorting cocaine off their Rubik’s Cubes while driving their De Loreans to the Foreigner concert.

Man, the 80’s rocked.

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^ All the girls looked like this in the 80’s. Some of the guys, too.