Is your hand raised? Good. Now lower it to cover up your erection. Weirdo.
This collection of pictures is brought to you by bikinizzone.blogspot.com, which is basically a blog with almost no writing and a gratuitous amount of scantily-clad smokin’ hot women. In other words, the perfect website.
My brain has just notified me that it is disappointed that I would post such a useless item, when I usually have extremely high standards for my content. Well, shut up brain, or I will stab you with a Q-Tip. I’m just giving my readers what they want.My readers = my genitals
Because I’m a humanitarian, and I love making people happy, and…oh, who am I kidding. People suck.
People are like slinkies, useless most of the time but guaranteed to raise a smile when you push them down the stairs.
Last night in Rupp Arena, Gardner-Webb shocked the hometown Kentucky fans by beating the Wildcats 84-68, earning the tiny North Carolina school a berth to the Sports College Hoops Classic semifinals in New York. This was no nail-biter; Gardner-Webb led by 11 at halftime and maintained at least a 7-point lead in the second half.
Gardner-Webb just joined Division I in 2000 and won only nine games last year. They’ve had three 20-loss seasons in this decade alone. The game was Billy Gillispie’s second as Kentucky’s coach after leading his Florida Gators to a national championship last year.
Attention college athletes: Please stop. I can’t handle any more. Last Friday in college hoops, Grand Valley State took down #8 Michigan State 85-82 in an exhibition game. Now this.
There has already been a laundry list of upsets in college football this year. It started with Appalachian State defeating then-#5 Michigan in Michigan Stadium, continued with Stanford beating #2 USC, and hasn’t shown any signs of abating since then. With the new basketball season, I was hoping for some semblance of normality to return to college sports, but this isn’t a good start.Especially since I’m a Kentucky basketball fan. I pray to an altar of Rick Pitino’s image every night. Sometimes he talks back.
Apparently I will have to quit watching sports and start tuning in to “Extreme Makeover: West Virginia Edition”, where Dr. Phil teaches illiterate southerners to read, with some marital counseling and home remodeling thrown in.
Just kidding. Watching Dr. Phil is like having a two-fist prostate exam. I’d rather drink absinthe and stick my nutsack in a toaster oven.
^ Disclaimer: However warm and inviting it may look, do not stick your nutsack in a toaster oven.
