
The defending Eastern Conference champion Cleveland Cavaliers struggled mightily at home in their season opener against Dallas, losing 92-74 on just 28-77 (.364) shooting. James, the charismatic leader of the Cavs, finished with 10 points, all in the second half, and turned the ball over five times.
The AP report also notes,
James arrived in costume a few hours before the game, appropriately dressed as “Business LeBron,” one of the four characters he plays in his popular Nike commercials
That’s his problem right there. He “dressed up” for Halloween in a suit and tie, as opposed to his usual pre-game attire of a different suit and tie. He’s like that lazy guy at Halloween college keg parties who just wears normal clothes while everyone else has elaborate costumes on. If you ask him what his costume is, he’ll say “I’m a drunk college student!” and then laugh like he’s being clever while you think of ways to discreetly urinate in his beer.
Well, drunk college guy, guess what? Your Tevas and digital watch aren’t impressing anyone, so you probably should’ve dressed up. Look at me, I’m a pirate sumo wrestler and I’ve got girls hanging all over me. You can’t talk to a slutty nurse, slutty schoolteacher, or slutty girl-suffering-from-Irritable-Bowel-SyndomeDon’t ask at a Halloween party unless you’ve got a badass costume like mine. Also I’m super-handsome and rich and funny, did I mention that?

^ God bless Halloween and girls with low self-esteem.

Jaguars defensive tackle Marcus Stroud is facing a four-game suspension for violating the NFL’s steroid policy. According to anonymous sources,It was me the three-time Pro Bowler tested positive for banned supplements last week. Both Stroud and coach Jack Del Rio had no further comment.
In addition, the San Diego Padres’ Mike Cameron has been suspended for 25 games after testing positive twice for a banned stimulant; he claims he inadvertently took a “tainted supplement” and strongly stresses that it wasn’t steroids. In an interview with author Todd Gallagher, Cameron has also admitted to playing baseball while drunk. Cameron, a Gold Glove center fielder, is a free agent this winter.
These new reports come on the heels of Cleveland pitcher Paul Byrd testing positive for HGH last week, and former track-and-field star Marion Jones admitting to using performance-enhancing drugs before her five-medal performance in the 2000 Summer Olympics.
I was once a professional athlete,Just kidding. I have trouble walking up stairs. so I can empathize with the drive to be the best. However, you should do it the classy way, like Tonya Harding: hire someone to swing a crowbar at your top competition. It’s discreet, it’s quiet, and nobody gets hurt. Except the person you hit with a crowbar, of course.

^ Next to “classy” in the dictionary. And by “classy”, I mean “batshit crazy”. Yes, it’s in the dictionary.