According to a CNNMoney.com article, Major League Baseball is close to catching up with the NFL in terms of total revenue generated, expecting to record over $6 billion in sales in 2007. Traditionally, ticket sales and television broadcasting rights have made up the bulk of the sport’s revenue, but recently baseball has successfully developed auxiliary sources such as concession sales, internet revenue, and satellite radio. These new streams, along with burgeoning international growth and the popularity of online ticket sales, have allowed the sport to more than double their annual intake since 2000.
Here’s a breakdown of where the additional revenue has gone:
- 31% - Pranked Colorado rookie Troy Tulowitzki by demolishing the Coors Field and replacing it with a Target™
- 18% - Deposited directly into Alex Rodriguez’s bank account
- 11% - Febreze’d Comerica Park daily to cover up the smell of Detroit
- 10% - Earmarked for new Manny Ramirez doo-rags
- 8% - Illegal kickback to the Cardinals for giving Anthony Reyes a job
- 7% - New offices built in Dominican Republic for recruiting
- 6% - Took David Wells to Waffle House to celebrate 44th birthday
- 4% - HGH for Paul Byrd, aspirin for Greg Maddux
- 2.5% - Bailed Tony La Russa out on DUI charges
- 2% - Spent researching the viability of replacing the bases with Dell laptops for additonal advertising revenue
- 0.5% - Pensions to retired players
- 0% - Steroid testing and research
It’s also widely believed that due to arcane accounting methods, baseball seriously under-reports its earnings:
As former MLB President Paul Beeston famously boasted when he was a Toronto Blue Jays executive, “I can turn a $4 million profit into a $2 million loss and get every national accounting firm to agree with me.”
This revenue growth surprises me. I was a huge baseball fan growing up, but unless the game involves the Braves or the postseason, I’d rather stick my weiner in a pencil sharpener than watch major league baseball now. I watch sports to see guys in ridiculous shape do things on the field that I couldn’t dream of, and baseball just doesn’t offer that. Football has T.O. and Reggie Bush, basketball has Dwayne Wade and LeBron, baseball has David Wells and Prince Fielder. There’s just not enough jaw-dropping moments, which is why the youngest generations today find it excruciatingly boring.
To put it a different way, football is Kanye West and baseball is K-Fed. Hockey is A.J. Slater and baseball is Screech. Basketball is Scarlett Johansson and baseball is Kirstie Alley. Don’t feel bad, baseball, NASCAR is effin’ Rosie O’Donnell in jorts.
^ Not Rosie O’Donnell
