The geniuses in the marketing department at Taco Bell have decided to offer a free beef taco to anyone who wants one if a player from either team steals a base during the World Series. The taco has a retail value of 77 cents.
If I was the marketing director at Taco Bell instead of Wynonna Judd’s personal trainer,Hey, I didn’t say I was any good I’d probably use an ad campaign that focused consumers’ attention away from their food. I’d give away free keychains or something in all Taco Bell locations during lunch hour and then try to sell food to the people that show up. Using Taco Bell cuisine to draw people to Taco Bell is like using straight-line deprecation on a capital expense when amortizing it with accelerated depreciation would clearly defer your tax exposure! It just doesn’t make sense.
However, I’m not sure the Taco Bell marketing group is very bright. If they were, they’d be working for a beer or car company. You could put Vanilla Ice to work for them and he’d probably rise to the top of the department within a few weeks.
And Vanilla Ice is pretty dumb.
^ Smarter than Vanilla Ice
On Tuesday the NFL released changes to streamline Draft Day procedure, thanks in part to the first round of the 2007 draft lasting a record 6 hours and 8 minutes.
Here’s an overview of the changes:
- Starting time of the draft was moved to 3 p.m. EDT from noon.
- Teams will have 10 minutes in the first round and 7 minutes in the second round to make their choices, down from 15 and 10 minutes.
- Saturday, the first day of the draft, will only feature rounds 1 and 2.
- The time between picks will stay at five minutes for rounds 3-7, which will take place on Sunday. That session will start at 10 a.m. instead of 11.
- If any team selects an athlete who didn’t have good numbers in college just because they performed well in the NFL combine, that team’s president gets punched in the nuts and the franchise loses their next three picks.
I’m glad the NFL realized that the draft was becoming tedious and made the appropriate changes, but I’d rather watch “The Hills” than sit and listen to sports commentators rehash the same information and say the same things for six hours.
Well, maybe not. I’ve actually rigged my television so that if someone changes the channel to MTV, a giant construction boot shoots out and kicks them in the face. It helps me weed out girls I bring to my apartment, but my niece wasn’t too happy. Serves her right for being in the third grade.
Ah, third grade. The best four years of my life…
