The PostGame

The WBNA has announced that they have awarded a franchise to Atlanta, which will begin play in 2008. Atlanta real estate mogul Ron Terwilliger will be the owner of the new team, for reasons known only to him. In 2006, Terwilliger and a group of investors emerged as a candidate to buy the Atlanta Braves from Time Warner, but were outbid by Liberty Media Corp. Don’t worry, Ron, a WNBA franchise is almost as good.Almost as good as a Subway franchise

There’s no doubt that, outside their small group of devoted fans, the WNBA has long been relegated to a punchline in America. I won’t twist the knife in their side any further. They’ve kept the league going for eleven years now, which is ten years longer than Vince McMahon’s ill-advised, but awesome, XFL.

My point, of course, is to resurrect the XFL. Remember those cheerleaders?

They could form the new XFL in a Pros vs. Joes format, where people who think they have talent could play against washed-up NFL players like Chris Weinke and Ricky Williams. Everyone would take jello shots at halftime, and the game would be played barefoot on a trampoline-like surface.

Hell, I’d watch that, mainly because the injury rate would be astronomical. However, I also watched Rock of Love, so my personal television standards aren’t really very high.

Warning: this post has nothing to do with sports. But I guess that’s never stopped me before.

Last week I wrote a short article about the Marion Jones scandal, in which I suggested that female track & field athletes should be able to take steroids and compete with the males in their sport. Ha ha, very funny, let’s move on, right? At the bottom of the article, I used the word “cameltoe” because, let’s be honest, it’s a pretty funny word.

Imagine my surprise when I innocently checked my website statistics yesterday. Wordpress has a neat little feature that tells me what people were searching for when they found my site.

After writing more than 30 articles, one tiny (albeit hilarious) word from an entry written over a week ago is responsible for about 50% of my search engine traffic. I’m glad to have the visitors to my site, but it doesn’t answer the main, disturbing question: who searches for camel toe?

Was yesterday a fluke? Here’s an excerpt from the day before:

I won’t even ask why all these people are looking for Mimi from “The Drew Carey Show”. Nor can I comment on these gems without a full-body shudder:

Are all my readers thirteen-year-old boys? Weird old lesbians? Let me know, and I’ll tailor my writing as such. Should I be writing more articles on the grossness of the human body? Would you like an exposé on moose knuckles? VPL? Beef curtains? Melvin? Panty bacon / Ninja foot / Taco jeans? Teabagging? How about a nice long essay on the Cincinnati Bowtie or an instructional video regarding the donkey punch?

Well, I won’t. Sickos. This is a family establishment. Besides, I use ten year old Chinese sweatshop workers to write most of these posts for me,It’s true! Help us! and they’re not familiar with all that lingo.

After long and hard deliberation, I’ve decided to show you some world-class camel toe. You’re welcome. (May not be safe for work, but if you’re reading this I doubt you have a great job anyway. Get out of the manager’s office and go back to the deep fryer.)

^ Don’t click on this