The PostGame

According to the AP, the Baylor athletic department is considering disciplinary action against Eric Schnupp, Baylor’s offensive line/tight ends coach, who was cited for relieving himself on the bar at a local tavern. The account continues,

The citation is a Class C misdemeanor carrying a $258 fine, according to Waco Municipal Court.

Bartender Danny Severe said in Tuesday’s editions of the Waco Tribune-Herald that the incident happened around closing time and that Schnupp apparently thought no one was watching him as employees were moving patrons out of the building.

Severe said an employee witnessed Schnupp urinating on the bar, and a manager told police officers who were there for an unrelated matter.

Baylor is the world’s largest Baptist university. I’m no expert on Moses, but I’m pretty sure that there are no red words in the Bible telling you to get drunk and pee on a bar. Of course it’s fine to pee in the corner of the establishment if the bathroom is full or you’re too drunk to get out of your booth, but this Nobel Prize winnerHe won the “Pees Prize”. Get it? Get it? Dammit, I’ve got to find a girlfriend. decided to urinate ON THE BAR.

Is this standard protocol in Texas? I’ve been to the state a few times, and it seemed pretty normal to me except for their unhealthy obsession with cowboy hats and Rocky Mountain Oysters. Maybe this is considered polite in Waco. If you like their Lonestar beer, you pee on their bar; if you like the food, you poop in your hand and rub it on the wall.Note: this does NOT go over well in D.C.

To sum it up: this coach should wear a top hat and teach butler school, and Rocky Mountain Oysters are awesome.

^ Gross

As I sat at my keyboard this morning with my left hand down my pants (for warmth reasons, jackass) and my right hand on the mouse, wondering what topic to write about in lieu of performing my salaried work, I came across a story. It’s a special story. It’s one that will raise tears in your eyes, a lump in your throat, and another, more impressive, lump in your pants. (Assuming you’re wearing pants while reading this. Knowing my readership base, that’s about a 50/50 proposition.) Anyway, it’s a story of courage and honor and tradition“courage” =”courage”, “tradition” = “boobies” and freakin’ smoking hot college girls.

Apparently everyone’s favorite “classy” men’s magazineAs opposed to some other, less classy men’s magazines that I’ve, um, heard about, Playboy, is scouring the country looking for attractive coeds for its upcoming “Girls of the Big Ten” issue. Before my female readersHi mom. We’re out of peanut butter at the house. get all up in arms, I’d like to say that it sounds like these girls are intelligent and have thought about their decision, and may even have the support of their parents, if their parents are Joe and Tina Simpson. For god’s sake, this isn’t “Girls Gone Wild“, it’s a respected publication, parents, don’t screw this up! Encourage your hot daughter to sexually expose herself for temporary fame, no matter how much future therapy she may need! It’s the American Way!

The photo shoot is a real coincidence, because I am also looking for hot coeds to participate in my next project. Please email me for details; I think you will be pleased with the resultsChlamydia.

If you’re still reading at this point, feel free to check out a slideshow of the photo shoot. It’s pretty boring.